In argument alwuz ernest, and in reazoning alwuz specius, this progressive phenomena tramps the world with the skeleton ov a pattent right in hiz carpet bag, and, in his ever open hand and face a pleasant "Heow air yer?"
If you would save your pride from bein sandpapered, risk it not in a dicker with Jonathan.
Hiz razor is the true Damascus, strapped on the wand ov Midas for a golden harvest; hiz sanctity iz often shrewdness, and hiz sweet savor iz often the reflekted halo ov the comin shillin.
Constitushunaly and by edukashun honest, he iz alwuz reddy tew cry for the deeds dun in the boddy; hiz hospitalitys and charities are cerimonial dutys, and if hiz religion iz sometimes only the severitys ov a sabbath, it iz bekauze hiz bias iz the thursting impulse ov a creatin genius chained tew the more sordid pashun for lucre.
IV.
LINCH-PINS.
I want to bet 3 Dollars, that no man ever matched himself agin the Devil, but what he got beat.
And I want to bet one dollar and seventy-five cents more, that thare is no villin on airth so grately mean az he who reccommends a vice that he has too mutch prudence to indulge in himself.
I hav held, that if a man iz virtuous, he kan't be ignorant; and i still hold it.