Pelham.—No notice will be took, (from this date hereafterwards) ov letters that hain't got a postage-stamp onto them.
Don't write only on one side ov the manuscript, and don't write mutch onto that.
Don't send a manuscript, unless yu kan read it yureself, after it gits dry.
We pay, aul the way up hill, from 10 cents tew one dollar for contribushuns, ackording tew heft.
Aul settlements made promptly at the end ov the next ensuing year.
Poetry and prose pieces respectively serlicited.
The highest market price paid for awful railrode smashes, and elopements with another man's wife.
No swareing aloud in our paper.
Yure article on "frogs" is received.
It made me laff like lightning.