Did yu ever hear ov a phatt man being hung? I guess not. They sumtimes destroy plum puddin, and biled ox, but they never murder enny thing that ain't good tew eat.
That must hav been a phatt Frenchman who exclaimed, upon hiz fust visit tew this kuntry, "By gar! what a people! Ten tousand different religions, and only one gravy!"
In konklusion, i never knu but one phatt skool-master, and he want good for enny thing, only tew slide down hill with the boys. This satisfize me that phat iz only another name for virtew.
LXII.
JOSH TALKS.
"Paul."—Yu ask me what i think ov the "Gift Distributing bizziness," and i don't hesitate tew say, that it has awl the premonitory simptums ov a dead beat.
I hav alwus found that when enny man offers tew giv me ten dollars for 50 cents, he lies; i may think he means to do it, but he don't think so; but i may possibly cum within 2 dollars and a half ov it once, and if i do, i hav dun well, a grate deal better than i will the next time.
I never put enny money into these swindles, and would as soon undertake tew raize a good sized greenback bi planting a shinplaster back ov the hog pen.
If yu get desperate, and feel az tho yu must gamble, or die, go 25 cents, odd or even, on the number ov hairs in a kat's back, and count them; this will cool yu oph.