I think i have stole them, laying around loose, without enny pedigree, in sumboddy's tall grass, when I waz a lazy schoolboy, that eat dredful easy, without enny white sugar on them, and even a bug occasionally mixed with them in the hurry of the moment. Cherrys are good, but they are too mutch like sucking a marble, with a handle tew it. Peaches are good, if yu don't git enny ov the pin-feathers into yure lips. Watermelons will suit ennyboddy who iz satisfied with half-sweetened drink; but the man who can eat strawberrys, besprinkled with crushed shuggar, and besmattered with sweet cream (at sumboddy else's expense), and not lay hiz hand on hiz stummuk, and thank the author ov strawberrys and stummuks, and the phellow who pays for the strawberrys, iz a man with a worn-out conscience—a man whose mouth tastes like a hole in the ground, that don't care what goes down it.
Kokernuts grow up in the air, in a hot climate way over the ocean, about 80 feet from the ground—on the top ov a tree.
They are generally picked bi the monkeys in that naborhood, who throw them at the natives, in exchange for the stones that the natives heave at the monkeys.
They grow az a negro's head duz, with a good deal ov skull tew them.
A kokernut, after it haz bin scalpt, resembles an old ten pin ball, only a little more round one way than tuther.
On the end ov the nut toward you iz 2 eyes, fast asleep. The kokernut iz opened bi breaking the skull and this brings them tew their milk.
The milk in the kokernut haz never bin explained yet, and the reazon iz, becauze noboddy has ever asked me tew do it.
Whenever the philosophers "giv it up," i shall reply tew the konundrum.
Az an artikle ov diet, the koker iz about on a level with the french raw turnip, and iz az hard tew digest az one ov Secretary Seward's letters ov State.