This shows what love and affekshun will do.
I haven't enny doubt that if Professor Ratsbane would say profeshionally, that wasps nests waz good to make a mustash grow black, half the men in the kuntry would git a wasp and go into the nest bizzness.
I don't beleave a tomater will keep a man enny more helthy than red clover will, but i am just like evry body else, i wanted tew git sum better than i waz, and i went to skool to the tomato, and have got learnt how tew eat them, if they are filled with salt and pepper, and soaked well in good sider vinegar.
I hav seen folks pick them oph from the vines in the gardin, and eat them right down alive; i would az soon undertake tew eat a handful ov putty.
But tomatoze hav worked themselfs up to a necessary, and i am the last man to injure their reputashun, for i beleave an innocent humbugg iz just az mutch right tew win, (if they kan) az any other man.
There iz one thing I do hope, and that iz that nobody will undertake tew make kastor ile one ov the luxurys until after i am dead, for kastor ile and bed buggs iz 2 things that i solemly sware i won't hav, if they git to be ever so fashinable.
XX.
JOSH REPLIZE TEW CORRESPONDENTS.
Mastiff.—I kant tell yu the best kind ov a dogg tew buy; but for a man of limited means, i think the wodden dogg iz the most cheapest. They are the less liabel tew git out ov repare, and ain't awl the time following folks oph. They kant wag their tales, but that kan be remydied by having them made without enny. They are not apt tew be noizy in the night; but if yu want one tew frighten away the robbers, awl yu hav got tew dew iz tew hav one made with the bark on.