Rekolekted again ov being in Nu Hampshire, during a severe sno storm, and innocently enuff remarked, "that i never see ennything like it," and waz told by one ov the bar-room boarders, "that it want nothing, that he had seen it fall over a thousand feet." "What," sed i, "a thousand feet on the level?" "No," said he, "but a thousand feet from on high." I reflekted how eazy it waz for sum folks tew lie, and tell the truth at the same time.
Thursday.—Rekolekted once more ov being on the Red River, in Arkansaw, and seeing a large piece ov frame-work, by the side ov the road; enquired ov a private citizen, who was leading a blind mule by one ov hiz ears, "what the frame-work mought be?" He sed, "it was a blind fiddle, and it took three yoke ov oxen tew draw the bow, and they had tew haw and gee tew change the tune." Reflekted on that passidge in the poeck, which sez "man is fearfully and wonderfully made;" and thought the remark might apply tew fiddles in Arkansaw, without spileing the remark.
Friday.—Visited mi washwoman, and blowed her up, for sewing ruffles and tucks onto the bottom ov mi drawers.
Josh Billings, upon remonstrating with his washerwoman for sewing tucks onto the bottom of his drawers, is told that the clothes have only been mixed.—See page 93.
She was thunderstruck at fust, but explained the mystery by saying, "she had sent me a pair, by mistake, that belonged to* * * *;" I blushed like a biled lobster, and told her she couldn't be too keerful about such things; i might hav bin ruined for life.
Saturday.—Wrote this diaree for the week, from memory, and am satisfied i hav got a good memory. Reflekted upon the vanity ov human wishes, reflekted how often i had wished tew be ritch, and how seldum mi wishes had bin gratified. Resolved, in the futur, not tew wish for ennything until i had it 3 weeks, and see how i liked it.
Saturday Night, haf past 10.—Dispensed with a new born critick who had tried hard tew be severe on my Book ov Sayings, thusly:—Dear Sir, I have red yure kriticism on mi book, and muss say, it don't cum haf way up tew mi expectations. Yu seem tew hav in a big degree one essenshall for a bull critick, that is a grate willingness tew damn, but yu lack entirely another ingredient which is awl important: yu don't know how tew bild a dam. Upon the whole, i am forced tew admit, that you are a poor damn crittick.
Yure Lover,
Josh Billings.