It is a kind ov meteorick rain, which people may set up a night or two to watch for, but failing tew see it a grate deal, may conclude that it aint much ov a shower after awl.
Handsum men are skase, and it is good that they are, for there is but very little power in man buty, and thare iz more vanity in one handsum man, than thare iz in two droves ov peacocks' tails.
Buty iz another name for effeminacy.
Pretty wimmin are plenty, and i am glad ov it, for wimmin hav a perfekt right tew be pretty; but very butiful wimmin are unplenty, and i am glad ov that ditto, for the chances is, they would use their buty to gain our adorashun rather than our esteem. After awl, grate buty iz a left-handed kompliment, for most ov the silly i have met with, are thoze who believed they was very butiful.
I think i had rather hav a noze 7 inches and a half long, (in the clear) than tew be the hansumest man in our county; for in the fust case, i should work hard tew shorten mi nose bi some other good qualitys, while in the other case, i probably should never be told by my looking-glass that i was a phool.
THE LIVE MAN.
The Live Man iz like the little pig; he iz weaned young, and begins tew root arly.
He iz the pepper-sass ov creation—the all-spice ov the world.
One Live Man in a village is like a case ov itch at a distrikt skool—he sets evry boddy scratching a onst.
A man who kan draw New Orleans molasses in the month ov January, thru a half inch augur-hole, and sing "Home! sweet home!" while the molasis iz running, may be strictly honest, but he aint sudden enuff for this climate.