“No, sir, you are mistaken. I have cured myself of liver complaint by Dr. Hampton’s celebrated liver tonic. I am Dr. Hampton.”
“Are you? Well, your appearance doesn’t speak very well for your remedy. My liver is perfectly regular.”
“I am glad to hear it, sir. I was speaking to your secretary a short time since, but he doesn’t think he is bilious. A boy of his age wouldn’t be apt to know. I will make you the same offer that I did him. I will give you a dose of the tonic free gratis, and you may find that it will benefit you.”
“Is there any whisky or brandy in the tonic?” asked Professor Puffer, with sudden interest.
“No, sir, not a drop. You may rest assured that it is a strict temperance medicine.”
“Then I don’t want any of it, sir. Temperance is a humbug. Are you a temperance man?”
“Yes, sir.”
“I am not. Good morning.”
Dr. Hampton’s next interview was more satisfactory. Among the passengers was a thin maiden lady of uncertain age. She was beginning to suffer seasickness when Dr. Hampton approached her.
“Pardon me,” he said, “but you look bilious.”