"Ah!" rejoined Mr. Lincoln, dropping his lower lip. "By the way, gentlemen, can either of you tell me where General Grant procures his whisky? because, if I can find out, I will send every general in the field a barrel of it!"
A "Pretty Tolerable Respectable Sort of a Clergyman."
Some one was discussing in the presence of Mr. Lincoln the character of a time-serving Washington clergyman. Said Mr. Lincoln to his visitor:
"I think you are rather hard upon Mr. ——. He reminds me of a man in Illinois, who was tried for passing a counterfeit bill. It was in evidence that before passing it he had taken it to the cashier of a bank and asked his opinion of the bill, and he received a very prompt reply that it was a counterfeit. His lawyer, who had heard the evidence to be brought against his client, asked him just before going into court, 'Did you take the bill to the cashier of the bank and ask him if it was good?'
"'I did,' was the reply,
"'Well, what was the reply of the cashier?'
"The rascal was in a corner, but he got out of it in this fashion: 'He said it was a pretty tolerable, respectable sort of a bill.'" Mr. Lincoln thought the clergyman was "a pretty tolerable, respectable sort of a clergyman."
Opened His Eyes.
Mr. Lincoln sometimes had a very effective way of dealing with men who troubled him with questions. A visitor once asked him how many men the Rebels had in the field.
The President replied, very seriously, "Twelve hundred thousand, according to the best authority."