“First class in arithmetic,” called Walter, hurriedly, evidently anxious to cover up the squire’s mistake.
It was generally agreed that the examination passed off satisfactorily. A few of the boys declaimed, and some of the girls read compositions. When the end was reached, Walter called on General Wall to make a speech; the latter did so. He was a little pompous and condescending in his manner, but what he said was grammatical and complimentary to the teacher.
“Won’t you make a few remarks, Squire Griffiths?” said Walter.
The squire rose, and, putting one hand under his coattail, glanced impressively around him, through his iron bowed spectacles, and spoke as follows:
“My Young Friends:--I am gratterfied to meet you on this occasion. As one of the school trustees, it was my duty to come and see what purficiency you had made in your studies. I have listened to your recitations with--ahem--with gratterfication. I have been most gratterfied by your purficiency in joggrify--here some of the scholars were seen to smile--joggrify was allers my favorite study when I was a lad and went to school. But when I was a youngster we didn’t have so good schools as you have. The teachers wasn’t so well eddicated. But we did as well as we could. I shall always be glad that I got an eddication when I was young. But for my improvin’ my time I shouldn’t have riz to be one of the school trustees. I hope, my young friends, you will improve the importunities the town has given you to get a good eddication. If you study hard, you will get up in the world, and your feller-citizens will respect you. I congratterlate your teacher on your purficiency, especially in joggrify. It is one of the most important studies you have. If Christopher Columbus hadn’t studied joggrify when he was a boy, how could he have discovered America, and if he hadn’t discovered it, where would we be at this moment?” Here the orator paused, as if for a response; but none being made, he went on: “But I didn’t mean to speak so long. I congratterlate you on having so good a teacher, and I am gratterfied to say that he will be your teacher next term.”
Here the scholars applauded, and Walter was really pleased by this evidence of his popularity. Squire Griffiths was also pleased, for in his foolish vanity he supposed that it was he who had been applauded, and not the allusion to Walter.
“My young friends,” he continued, “I thank you for your respectful attention to my remarks. Go on as you have begun, and you will never regret it. Let your motto be ‘Excelsior!’”
With this effective ending he sat down, and the boys mischievously applauded, greatly to the “gratterfication” of the squire, who secretly thought that he had done himself great credit. He was one of those vain and pompous old men, who like to hear themselves talk, and are always ready to assume any responsibility, wholly unaware of their own deficiencies. But Squire Griffiths was well-to-do in worldly affairs, and the town offices which were given him were a tribute to his money, and not to his ability. Of course, it was a glaring absurdity to put such a man in charge of the schools, but fortunately his associates in office were men of greater education than himself.
Among the spectators was Miss Melinda Jones, the poetess. Considering her literary claims, she could not well be absent from an occasion of this character. Besides, we know the interest she felt in the teacher.
At the close of the exercises, she came to our hero to tender her congratulations.