In his youth, at all events, Balzac seems to have had no secrets from his sister, and it is to her that the much disputed letter of Saturday, October 12, 1833, was addressed. Their friendship was sincere and devoted; and yet there were coolnesses, caused largely by the influence of their mother,—and of M. Surville, whose jealous and tyrannical disposition prevented their seeing each other as frequently as they would have liked. She once celebrated her birthday by visiting her brother, but she held her watch in her hand as she had only twenty minutes for the meeting. For awhile, he could not visit her; later, this estrangement was overcome, and after the first presentation of his play /Vautrin/ (1840), his sister cared for him in her home during his illness.
Madame Surville performed many duties for her brother but was not always skilful in allaying the demands of his creditors. On Balzac's return from a visit to Madame Hanska in Vienna, he found that his affairs were in great disorder, and that his sister, frightened at the conditions, had pawned his silverware. In planning at a later date to leave France, however, he did not hesitate to entrust his treasures to his sister, saying that she would be a most faithful "dragon." He was also wisely thoughtful of her; on one occasion when she had gone to a masked ball contrary to her husband's wishes, Balzac went after her and took her home without giving her time to go round the room.
She evidently had more influence over their mother than had he, for he asked her when on the verge of taking Madame de Balzac into his home again, to assist him in making her reasonable:
"If she likes, she can be very happy, but tell her that she must encourage happiness and not frighten it away. She will have near her a confidential attendant and a servant, and that she will be taken care of in the way she likes. Her room is as elegant as I can make it. . . . Make her promise not to object to what I wish her to do as regards her dress: I do not wish her to be dressed otherwise than as she /ought to be/, it would give me great pain . . ."
During his prolonged stay in Russia, he requested his sister to conceal from their mother the true condition of his illness and the uncertainty of his marriage, and to entreat her to avoid anything in her letters which might cause him pain. Feeling that she would never have allowed such a thing had she known of it, he informed her in detail concerning their mother's letter which had caused him endless trouble.
While Madame Surville was a great stimulus to Balzac early in his literary career, she in turn received the deepest sympathy from him in her financial struggle, and, while he was so happy and was living in such luxury in Russia, he only regretted that he could not assist her, for he had enjoyed hospitality in her home.
Madame Surville had at least one of her mother's traits—that of continually harassing Balzac by trying to marry him to some rich woman; once she had even chosen for him the goddaughter of Louis- Philippe. But the most serious breach of relations between the two resulted from her failure to approve of Balzac's adoration of Madame Hanska. While admitting the extreme beauty of the celebrated Daffinger portrait, she was jealous of his /Predilecta/. When she saw the bound proofs of /La Femme superieure/ which he had intended for Madame Hanska, she felt that she was being neglected. In the end, he robbed his /Chatelaine/ to the profit of his /cara sorella/. But when she became impatient at Balzac's prolonged stay at Wierzchownia, he resented it, explaining that marriage is like cream—a change of atmosphere would spoil it,—that bad marriages could be made with the utmost ease, but good ones required infinite precautions and scrupulous attention. He tried to make her see the advantage of this marriage, writing her:
"Consider, dear Laura, none of us are as yet, so to speak, /arrived/; if, instead of being obliged to work in order to live, I had become the husband of one of the cleverest, the best-born, and best-connected of women, who is also possessed of a solid though circumscribed fortune, in spite of the wish of the lady to live retired, to have no intercourse even with the family, I should still be in a position to be much better able to be of use to you all. I have the certainty of the warm kindness and lively interest which Madame Hanska takes in the dear children. Thus it is more than a duty in my mother, and all belonging to me, to do nothing to hinder me from the happy accomplishment of a union which /before all is my happiness/. Again, it must not be forgotten that this lady is illustrious, not only on account of her high descent, but for her great reputation for wit, beauty, and fortune (for she is credited with all the millions of her daughter); she is constantly receiving proposals of marriage from men of the highest rank and position. But she is something far better than rich and noble; she is exquisitely good, with the sweetness of an angel, and of an easy compatibility in daily life which every day surprises me more and more; she is, moreover, thoroughly pious. Seeing all these great advantages, the world treats my hopes with something of mocking incredulity, and my prospects of success are denied and derided on all sides. If we were all to live . . . under the same roof, I could conceive the difficulties raised by my mother about her dignity; but to keep on the terms which are due to a lady who brings with her (fortune apart) most precious social advantages, I think you need only confine yourself to giving her the impression that my relations are kind and affectionate amongst themselves, and kindly affectionate towards the man she loves. It is the only way to excite her interest and to preserve her influence, which will be enormous. You may all of you, in a great fit of independence, say you have no need of any one, that you intend to succeed by your own exertions. But, between ourselves, the events of the last few years must have proved to you that nothing can be done without the help of others; and the social forces that we can least afford to dispense with are those of our own family. Come, Laura, it is something to be able, in Paris, to open one's /salon/ and to assemble all the /elite/ of society, presided over by a woman who is refined, polished, imposing as a queen, of illustrious descent, allied to the noblest families, witty, well-informed, and beautiful; there is a power of social domination. To enter into any struggle whatever with a woman in whom so much influence centers is—I tell you this in confidence—an act of insanity. Let there be neither servility, nor sullen pride, nor susceptibility, nor too much compliance; nothing but good natural affection. This is the line of conduct prescribed by good sense towards such a woman."
One can see how Madame Surville would resent such a letter, especially when she might have arranged another marriage, advantageous and sensible, for him. But poor Balzac, knowing her interest in his happiness, writes to her a joyful letter the day after his marriage: "As to Madame de Balzac, what more can I say about her? I may be envied for having won her: with the exception of her daughter, there is no woman in this land who can compare with her. She is indeed the diamond of Poland, the gem of this illustrious house of Rzewuski." After explaining to her that this was a marriage of pure affection, as his wife had given her fortune to her children and wished to live only for them and for him, Balzac tells his sister that he hoped to present Madame Honore de Balzac to her soon, signing the letter, "Your brother Honore at the summit of happiness."
A great attraction for Balzac in the home of Madame Surville were his two nieces, Sophie and Valentine, to whom he was devoted, and with whom he frequently spent his evenings. The story is told that one evening on entering his sister's home, he asked for paper and pencil, which were given him. After spending about an hour, not in making notes, as one might imagine, but in writing columns of figures and adding them, he discovered that he owed fifty-nine thousand francs, and exclaimed that his only recourse was to blow his brains out, or throw himself into the Seine! When questioned by his niece Sophie in tears as to whether he would not finish the novel he had begun for her, he declared that he was wrong in becoming so discouraged, to work for her would be a pleasure; he would no longer be depressed, but would finish her book, which would be a masterpiece, sell it for three thousand /ecus/, pay all his creditors within two years, amass a dowry for her and become a peer of France!