"Ridiculous, Mr. President," one scientist sneered. "If the world is flat, how do you explain that when you approach a mountain or ship at sea, you see first the summit or funnels?"
"What you see depends upon the weather," a young scientist insisted. "If there are low clouds, you don't see the top first. Then again, what you see first often depends on what you want to see first! It's conditioning. Have you ever made a conscious effort to see the bottoms first?"
A little scientist with a high neck and a squint jumped up. "When a partial eclipse of the moon takes place, the shadow of the earth on the moon is a circle. Only a ball-shaped object can throw a circular shadow, gentlemen!"
"Poppycock!" scoffed a scientist next to him. "So can a flat disk. Furthermore, who is an authority here on what happens on the moon? Moon-gazing is guesswork, gentlemen—sheer guesswork!"
A worried little bald man pleaded, "Why can't we reconcile these hostile theories of apple-shape and saucer-shape into a compromise concept which will satisfy everybody?"
"Exactly!" a ribald voice shouted. "Apple-saucer!"
"Mr. Einstein?" said the President hopefully.
The great man rose wistfully. "I am sorry, Mr. President," he said meekly. "But it is all over my head."
"Flash," said Walter Winchell on Sunday night. "Attention, Mr. and Mrs. America and all the ships at sea. I, Walter Winchell, want to tell you, whoever you are, that I, Walter Winchell, am the first as usual to break the most sensational scoop of the century! I, Walter Winchell, now tell you, whoever you are, that the world is no longer round, but flat. Flat, ladies and gentlemen ... F-L-A-T. Geography marches on! And the very first baby to be born into this new flat world...."