“You did! My precious cookies! Burglar!”
“——bite it into scallops. Ha! an idea! I arranged myself on the rug with much care in order that I might stretch out the process to a whole page of narration. Thereupon I nibbled off the corners of the scallops till the cookie was round and smooth again. Next I bit it into scallops and then I nibbled off the corners; and next I bit and then I nibbled; and next I bit and then I nibbled; and next I bit——”
“——and then I nibbled; and next I bit and then I nibbled, till there was nothing left but the hole. Now I am writing a scintillating and corruscating theme about it. Go away.”
Berta turned toward the door. “Some day you’ll wish you had listened,” she declared in accents heavy with gloom, “some day when you can’t think of a single thing to write about, and the hand keeps moving around the clock, and the paper lies there blank and horrible before your vacant eyes, and your pen is nibbled so short that your fingers——”
“I didn’t mean go away,” I said, “I meant, go on. Tell me about it.”
“Nay, nay! To lacerate my feelings, spurn my proffered aid, insult my youthful pristine zeal, and then to call me back—in short, to throw a dog a bone! Nay, nay!”
“Oh, Berta, be sweet. Tell me. You know that I think you have the most original ideas in college.” After I had coaxed her quite a lot, she told me her new scheme. It was something like advanced character reading and biology combined. Just as scientists classify trees and plants in botany, Berta proposed that we should divide the students into different classes according to their manners.
“It will be so improving and instructive too,” she pleaded, “we’ll be paragons of politeness before we finish them all. We’ll be so particular about our highest class that we will notice every little thing and thus take warning.” She paused a moment; then, “Did you hear me say thus?” she inquired. When I nodded, she gazed at me sadly. “People who belong to the highest class never gesticulate; they use spoken language exclusively. Furthermore, as to the thus. I wondered if an up-springing sense of courtesy persuaded you to refrain from hooting at such elegant verbiage. That would be a sign of benefit already derived from the classes. By the way, it was Mary Winchester who inspired the idea.”
“Oh, but she has no manners at all!” I exclaimed before I thought.