[Chapter XVII.]
MANNERS IN SOCIETY.
SUGGESTIONS FOR LESSONS.
1. When a request is to be made, no matter how slight, it should be given in the form of a request and not of a command. Such expressions as “Please” and “Will you be so kind?” should be very frequently used. When a request has been complied with, “Thank you” should never be forgotten.
2. Gentlemen should not remain seated when there are ladies or older people standing in the room. No young people should remain seated when by so doing they oblige older people to stand. Young people should not occupy the easiest chairs nor the most comfortable places in a room when older people are present.
3. Whispering in company is ill-mannered. Laughing at something not understood by the whole company, or at least by all who would notice the laughing, is very impolite. Exchanging glances or meaning smiles is rude. Boisterous laughter is always rude.
4. If asked to sing or play or to contribute in any legitimate way to the entertainment of company, one should, if possible, comply with the request without waiting to be urged. When one is trying to entertain a company, the company should give respectful attention, never annoying the performer by whispering or talking or moving about. When games are proposed, unless there is some reason for not doing so, every one who is invited to join in them should do so with right good will. Good manners are based on kindness, and a kind heart will lead any one to contribute as much as possible to the enjoyment of all.
5. One should give respectful and kindly attention to another who is talking to him. No matter if the conversation is not of great interest, it should be listened to without interruption. This is especially true when elderly people talk to those younger. When it is necessary to discontinue the conversation, one should ask to be excused. When two people begin to talk at the same time, each should be ready with an “Excuse me,” or “I beg pardon,” to yield the privilege of speaking first to the other.
6. It is a mark of good manners to show courtesy to servants or to any in humble stations in life. A polite request is always better than a stern command. Whoever shows disregard of the feelings of a servant or one in humble station, gives unmistakable proof of ill-breeding.
7. It is courteous to commend what is commendable. One should take pains to express commendation in words to the one who deserves it. This is really no more than common politeness. Many find it easy to speak words of blame, but do not seem to think what gratification a word of deserved praise affords.