Don't 'ave no truck with the drill-book—
You might get a bit at fault,
It's best to confine your attentions
To simple commands, like "'Alt";
For a 'aporth of 'Industanie
And a pennorth of Sergeants' mess
(Though the meanin's all wrong) is enough for a song
To make it a big success.
If you wants to say anything coarse-like,
Well, say it out plain, don't 'int,
And fill each line with expletives
As don't look pretty in print—
If you sneers at the "Widow of Windsor,"
And laughs at 'er soldiers' dress,
And connects the word "'Ell" with an orficer, well,
Your ballad's a big success.
Take the slang of the camp
(What's easy to vamp)
And some delicate soldier wheeze,
Call the Guard-room the "Clink,"
And describe any drink
As a "Fall in" or "Stand at ease";
Then you mix the 'ole lot
And you serve it up 'ot;
From ingredients sich as these
Form that singular salad
A Barrack-room Ballad
In Rudyardkiplingese.
THEY WANT MORE OF TOMMY.
BY W. T. R.
Being among a group of Australians the other day, I noticed them watching the Guards drill, and, as they seemed to be interested, I thought it a good opportunity of getting their ideas of Thomas Atkins. With the object in view, I engaged one of them in conversation. I ventured a remark on the drill.
"Oh, yes, they drill all right," said the Australian, "but you see they get a bit too much of it, I think; I mean as regards the goose-step business. You know, we Australians," he went on, "never have too much of that. It may give a man more steadiness in marching on parade, but we don't have many show parades during the year, Queen's Birthday being the most important."
"How often do you drill there?" I asked.
"Well, you see—of course I'm speaking of New South Wales. There we have about twenty-five half day drills during the year. These take place on a Saturday afternoon. Out of these they take sixteen and give us an encampment at Easter. It is at this encampment that we receive the most good as regards learning our work. I was almost forgetting the annual Musketry Course, when we get through our firing. Of course, we have plenty of firing practice on our other parades as well."
"How did you chaps come to be sent to Africa?" I asked.