COMMANDEERING.
Our hero was a Tommy, with a conscience free from care.
And such an open countenance that when he breathed the air
He used up all the atmosphere—so little went to spare.
You could hardly say he breathed,—he commandeered it.
For, nowadays, you'll notice when a man is "on the make,"
And other people's property is anxious for to take,
We never use such words as steal, or "collar," "pinch," or "shake:"
The fashion is to say he "commandeers" it.
And our simple-minded hero used to grumble at his lot;
Said he, "This commandeerin's just a little bit too hot.
A fellow has to carry every blooming thing he's got,
For whatever he lets fall they'll commandeer it."
So, at last in desperation, this most simple-minded elf,
He thought he'd do a little commandeering for himself;
And the first thing that he noticed was a bottle on a shelf
In a cottage, so he thought he'd commandeer it.
"What ho!" says he, "a bottle! and, by George, it's full of beer!
And there's no commandin' officer to come and interfere.
So here's my bloomin' health," says he; "I'm on the commandeer."
And without another word he commandeered it.
Anonymous.