THE SPOTTER IS A "PERFECT DEAR," AND THAT IS HOW YOUR WIFE COMES TO LOSE TWELVE DRESSES AND A TWENTY-THOUSAND-DOLLAR NECKLACE AND HAVE HYSTERICS ON THE DOCK.
(See page [47])
LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS
| The spotter is "a perfect dear", and that is how your wife comes to lose twelve dresses and a twenty-thousand-dollar necklace and have hysterics on the dock | [Frontispiece] |
| Small wonder that you hand a dollar to your sister and kiss the porter | [14] |
| I recognise the blonde divinity. Her eyes are closed, her hat on one ear, and she is wrapped like a mummy | [18] |
| How the ship rolls and lurches | [22] |
| Ah, confidences beside a life-boat on the upper deck! | [26] |
| Quite the nicest place on the whole ship is the smoke-room | [30] |
| Your cap goes flying overboard. * * * Your cigar is blown to shreds | [38] |
| There is a horrible fascination about a ship's concert, something hypnotic that draws you, very much against your word and will | [44] |
"Ship-Bored" originally appeared in Everybody's Magazine.
PREFACE
Whatever the effect of "Ship-Bored" upon others, its publication has exerted a very definite effect upon me, or rather upon the character of my daily mail. Instead of letters the postman now leaves little packages containing pills which, according to the senders, will prevent the casting of bread upon the waters.
It is astonishing to learn how many sea-sick remedies there are. Looking at the bottles and the boxes piled, each morning by my breakfast plate, I sometimes wonder if there aren't as many remedies as sufferers.