However, we three were not always together, and we had been apart a good bit when we met (as ill-luck would have it) at the moment when the pilot’s boat was just alongside, ready for his departure.
“What’s the boat for?” asked Alister, who had been below.
“And who would it be for,” replied Dennis, “but the gentleman in the black hat? Alister, dear! what’s the reason I can’t tread on a nigger’s heels without treading on your toes?”
“Hush!” cried I, in torment, “he’s coming.”
We stood at attention, but never can I forget the agony of the next few minutes. That hat, that face, those flat black feet, that strut, that smile. I felt a sob of laughter beginning somewhere about my waist-belt, and yet my heart ached with fear for Dennis. Oh, if only His Magnificence would move a little quicker, and let us have it over!
There’s a fish at Bermuda that is known as the toad-fish (so Alfonso told me), and when you tickle it it blows itself out after the manner of the frog who tried to be as big as an ox. It becomes as round as a football, and if you throw it on the water it floats. If you touch it it sounds (according to Alfonso) “all same as a banjo.” It will live some time out of water; and if it shows any signs of subsiding, another tickle will blow it out again. “Too muchee tickle
him burst,” said Alfonso. I had heard this decidedly nasty story just before the pilot’s departure, and it was now the culmination of all the foolish thoughts that gibbered in my head. I couldn’t help thinking of it as I held my breath to suppress my laughter, and quaked for the yet more volatile Dennis. Oh, dear! Why wouldn’t that mass of absurdity walk quicker? His feet were big enough. Meanwhile we stood like mutes—eyes front! To have looked at each other would have been fatal. “Too muchee tickle him burst.” I hope we looked grave (I have little doubt now that we looked as if we were having our photographs taken). The sob had mounted from my waist to my throat. My teeth were set, my eyes watered, but the pilot was here now. In a moment he would be down the side. With an excess of zeal I found strength to raise my hand for a salute.
I fear it was this that pleased him, and made him stop; and we couldn’t help looking at him. His hat was a little set back for the heat, his black triangular feet were in the third position of dancing. He smiled.
There was an explosive sound to my right. I knew what it meant. Dennis had “burst.”
And then I never felt less like laughing in my life. Visions of insubordination, disrespect, mutiny, flogging, and black-hole, rushed through my head, and I had serious thoughts of falling on my knees