Monday, 7.45 p.m., May 2nd, 1836.
My dear little Beloved,
I am sorry to find that you are not as convinced as I am, of the propriety of giving me your portrait.
I confess I feel the greatest disappointment when I realise, from your daily evasion of my request, that I shall probably never become the possessor of the picture which is so like you, nor even, perhaps, of a copy of the original. I am sad and dejected. I think you do not care enough for me, a poor disinherited creature, to do me the favour you have already bestowed upon another, who already has her full meed of the gifts of life. I am therefore greatly disappointed. I had counted upon having the portrait, and had anticipated much happiness from its possession. The contemplation of it would have so greatly contributed to my courage and resignation, that it is very grievous to have to renounce it thus suddenly, without any compensation.
If I wanted to speak of other things now, I could not; my heart is heavy, my eyes overflow with tears. I can only find bitter words for the expression of my wounded love.
I love you more to-day than I have ever done before, yet I am not happy.
Juliette.
Friday, 7.45 a.m., May 20th, 1836.
Good morning, my dear little Toto.