"Wherever man pays reverence to woman,—wherever any man feels the influence of any woman, purifying, chastening, abashing, strengthening him against temptation, shielding him from evil, ministering to his self-respect, medicining his weariness, peopling his solitude, winning him from sordid prizes, enlivening his monotonous days with mirth, or fancy, or wit, flashing heaven upon his earth, and mellowing it for all spiritual fertility,—there is the element of marriage. Wherever woman pays reverence to man,—wherever any woman rejoices in the strength of any man, feels it to be God's agent, upholding her weakness, confirming her purpose, and crowning her power,—wherever he reveals himself to her, just, upright, inflexible, yet tolerant, merciful, benignant, not unruffled, perhaps, but not overcome by the world's turbulence, and responding to all her gentleness, his feet on the earth, his head among the stars, helping her to hold her soul steadfast in right, to stand firm against the encroachments of frivolity, vanity, impatience, fatigue, and discouragement, helping to preserve her good nature, to develop her energy, to consolidate her thought, to utilize her benevolence, to exalt and illumine her life,—there is the essence of marriage. Its love is founded on respect, and increases self-respect at the very moment of merging itself in another. Its love is mutual, equally giving and receiving at every instant of its action. There is neither dependence nor independence, but inter-dependence. Years cannot weaken its bonds, distance cannot sunder them. It is a love which vanquishes the grave, and transfigures death itself into life."
These laws are varied by God's word, and written indelibly upon the nature of man. Surely nothing can be more manifest than that they must be obeyed.
II.
Nature teaches us the Wisdom of adhering to the Divine Plan.
Anatomists tell us that in the embryo skeleton there is a marked difference of general conformation in the two sexes; that in the male there is a larger chest and breathing apparatus, which, affects the whole organization, forming a more powerful muscular system, and producing a physical constitution which predestines him to bold enterprises and daring exploits. The woman, being differently constructed, finds it natural to content herself in the house, removed from the gaze of the world, and from rude contact with its jostling cares.
There is an outside and an inside world. The work of the street, or the shop, or the field, is no more essential to the well-being of the family than is the work performed in the house. God assigned to man the field, or out-door work, and to woman the home and housework. In proportion as men and women fill well their separate spheres, there is harmony and happiness. Man toils, and provides for the wants of his household. Woman toils, and sees to it that the children are well reared, and that the house is well kept. Woman is respected and supported, not in idleness, but in caring for the wants of those committed to her care. The attempt is being made to disregard these natural laws, by those who claim to have outgrown divine legislation, and who have the hardihood to trample upon the laws of nature. But in vain. When God made our first parents, he made them male and female, and it will not be difficult to believe in the impossibility of the finite being able to undo the work of the Infinite. Each has his and her place, and nothing goes continuously right if husband and wife change places. Keep the positions assigned them by the laws of God and nature, and all will go well.
Give to woman the serious consideration due from every man born of woman's agony, and you build her up in love, endow her with respect, encourage her to cultivate her mind, and to develop the graces of her nature. The mightiest influence which exists upon earth is concealed in the heart of woman. It follows that her elevation and her happiness, her education and usefulness, are objects of deep concern. We have seen that the legislation of Heaven provides for the gratification of the early longing of the soul for companionship in making marriage honorable and love the holiest of instincts.
It is fashionable to talk against an early love. It is wrong thus to do. "Youth longeth for a kindred spirit, and yearneth for a heart that can commune with his own. He meditateth night and day, doting on the image of his fancy." It is the tendency of an early love to inspire youth with grand aspirations and lofty aims. "They that love early, shall become like-minded, and the tempter shall touch them not. They shall grow up, leaning on each other, as the olive and the vine."
It is only when love is scorned, when passion takes its place, when man forgets that the idol of his heart is a probationer of earth like himself, that it is his duty to be chary of her soul, feeling that it is his jewel. It is only when a man ceases to be a man, and becomes a beast, that he can consent, even in thought, to despoil woman of her virtue; to trample upon the sacred instincts of her nobler nature. A real woman will delight to make herself worthy of love. In the advancement of her mind, quite as much as in the adornment of her person, she strives to make herself beautiful as well as lovable. If she forgets her duty, and consents to seem to be what she is not, so that her admirer finds that the appearance which charmed him was not real, then the future of that woman is dark indeed. Her husband will discover, when too late, that "the harp and the voice may thrill him, sound may enchant his ear, but, by and by, the hand will wither, and the sweet notes turn to discord; the eye, so brilliant at even, may be red with sorrow in the morning; and the sylph-like form of elegance must writhe in the crampings of pain."
Naturally the man and woman will recognize the rule of God in the choice of their vocation. He will go abroad, and she will stay at home. He will earn the bread, and she will make it. He will build the house, and she will keep it. The difference between their spheres of labor seems naturally to be this: one is external, the other internal; one active, the other passive. He has to go and seek out his path; hers usually lies close under her feet. Yet, if life is meant to be a worthy one, each must resolutely be trod.