"I wonder," the girl said, looking very thoughtfully down at the table before her.
"I know," said he.
Quite suddenly she gave a little overwrought cry, and she put up her hands over her face. "Oh, Richard!" she said, "that day when he was here! He left me--oh, I cannot tell you at what a height he left me! It was something new and beautiful. He swept me to the clouds with him. And I might--perhaps I might have lived on there. Who knows? But then that hideous evening! Ah, it was too sickening: the fall back to common earth again!"
"I know," said the man, gently--"I know. And he knew, too. Directly he'd seen you he knew how you would feel about it. I'm not pretending that it was of no consequence. It was unfortunate, of course. But the point is, it did not mean in him any slackening, any stooping, any letting go. It was a moment's incident. We went to the wretched place by accident after dinner. Ste. Marie saw those childish lunatics at play, and for about two minutes he played with them. The lady in the blue hat made it appear a little more extreme, and that's all."
Miss Benham rose to her feet and moved restlessly back and forth. "Oh, Richard," she said, "the golden spell is broken--the enchantment he laid upon me that day. I'm not like him, you know. Oh, I wish I were! I wish I were! I can't change from hour to hour. I can't rise to the clouds again after my fall to earth. It has all--become something different. Don't misunderstand me!" she cried. "I don't mean that I've ceased to care for him. No, far from that! But I was in such an exalted heaven, and now I'm not there any more. Perhaps he can lift me to it again. Oh yes, I'm sure he can, when I see him once more; but I wanted to go on living there so happily while he was away! Do you understand at all?"
"I think I do," the man said, but he looked at her very curiously and a little sadly, for it was the first time he had ever seen her swept from her superb poise by any emotion, and he hardly recognized her. It was very bitter to him to realize that he could never have stirred her to this--never, under any conceivable circumstances.
The girl came to him where he stood, and touched his arm with her hand. "He is waiting to hear how I feel about it all, isn't he?" she said. "He is waiting to know that I understand. Will you tell him a little lie for me, Richard? No, you needn't tell a lie. I will tell it. Tell him that I said I understood perfectly. Tell him that I was shocked for a moment, but that afterward I understood and thought no more about it. Will you tell him I said that? It won't be a lie from you, because I did say it. Oh, I will not grieve him or hamper him now while he is working in my cause! I'll tell him a lie rather than have him grieve."
"Need it be a lie?" said Richard Hartley. "Can't you truly believe what you've said?"
She shook her head slowly.
"I'll try," said she, "but--my golden spell is broken and I can't mend it alone. I'm sorry."