As I was saying a while ago, it’s hard to know exactly what is in your own mind, let alone in another’s. But it’s likely that what Christina was really thinking now was this: if once Heffernan spoke to Nelly, and got her to pass her word to him, the thing would be settled, for good and all. Heffernan would get the marriage over at once. An old man has no time to lose, courting. Not that Mickey was what people in general would count as old; only that was how the girls always talked about him, he being so very settled and quiet-going in every way.
Along with that, she thought how that Nelly would be safe and contented with him. He was good, and Nelly was easy-going and hadn’t any one else in her mind. Christina was only too ready to think that.
But the great thing was, that if Nelly was out of the way ... mightn’t anything happen, as soon as not! Christina did not put that into words, even in her own mind. There was one thing sure, however. She wanted Jim for herself. But that, too, she had to put away from her. The loneliness of her! She had not one, in this world wide, to speak to. If she had had itself, how could she! how could she!
As soon as Christina had all done, the dishes washed up, and the floor swept over, and a bit thrown to the hens, she went off after Nelly and Heffernan. She thought she wouldn’t be in too big a hurry. The day was hot and bright and she would take her time.
She did that. When she got to the gate of the Big Meadow, and looked across it down to the lake that lay beyond, she perceived Heffernan and Nelly, and they standing, talking, with their backs to her, gazing out over the water that rippled and flashed under the sunshine, just as it was when Jim had told her he was going away, and for her to give him news of Nelly.
Christina stopped when she caught sight of them. The thing was going on just as she would wish it should. She might as well give Heffernan his time to say all he wanted. He was slow. It would take him a good while to make Nelly understand. She laid out that she would go across to join them, of course, as she had arranged, but very nice and easy, taking her time. She began by being very particular about hasping the gate; a thing, in troth, that you can hardly be too careful about, on a farm.
It gave her some trouble, the gate being loose from the hinges, and Christina remembered it was a job that Jim had meant to do for her, to set that gate right, only he got such short notice about leaving for America. When she had it secured again, she straightened herself up, and turned round, so as to be facing the field she was going to cross. What did she see, there half-way between herself at the gate, and Nelly at the far end of the meadow, only Jim himself!
The sight left her eyes, near-hand, and small blame to her. She rubbed them hard, and looked again. There he was, right enough. He was laughing, as he had the fashion of doing, a quiet, half-shy smile, but saying nothing. It was Jim all over. The field was so full of light and heat that she felt dazzled. You could see little quivering waves rising up into the air from the sun-cocks. Christina thought everything was moving before her eyes. Except Jim. He stood there, quite quiet, laughing still.
“Nelly doesn’t see him!” was the first thought that came into Christina’s head; “Nelly doesn’t see him! and maybe he hasn’t seen her! It’s not that side he’s looking, at all! It’s towards me he’s turned.... Och, if only I can keep him that way...! till I’ll get down to him ... and keep him in chat ... if only Heffernan had his say out with Nelly, and gets her promise.... Oh, why did Jim come here, just this minute! What at all brought him now! If only he’d have stayed away another bit! Even an hour ... and not for he to be appearing, till it would be settled.... An’ Nelly that doesn’t mind one, no more than another ... what does Nelly care!”
With that word, in a clap, Christina begins to think of Jim! Jim, and the look in his eyes, straight and full of longing and misery, while he was beseeching of her to write him word of every one ... “and Nelly!”