But will that prevent Kelly beholding me in all my pitiableness? Am I such a coward? Such a coward?... No, Kelly shall read it, every scrap when I am dead.
Then he shall see what a deplorable, wretched creature I was till love entered my life, when he did. Then he shall know the great miracle which love wrought.
Kelly has a claim to me in bad as well as good....
I feel to-day so ineffably tired. It seems as if this day were to be my last. The day of judgment, when I am to stand face to face with myself.
But the day of judgment is to be followed by regeneration. Kelly is to be my regeneration. Not for myself do I pray to be granted a year, an hour; I pray for Kelly’s sake alone, that our meeting that night may not have been in vain. This prayer throbs from my lips into Eternity.
Will it be heard?
⁂ ⁂ ⁂
There are bells chiming for vespers. Now Kelly is coming home from work, so tall, strong, and healthy. They are busy with the spring ploughing, and to-morrow will be Sunday. Then I shall see him, have him to myself....
Kelly, Kelly ... why aren’t you here at this hour? Kelly, I want to see you, and to thank you.