How stupid of me to have given Lillie my tortoiseshell combs! How can I ask to have them back without seeming rude? Joergen was used to them; he will miss them at once.
I have had out all my dresses, but I cannot make up my mind what to wear. I cannot appear in the morning in a dinner dress, and a white frock—at my age!... After all, why not?... The white embroidered one ... it fits beautifully. I have never worn it since Joergen's last visit to us in the country. It has got a little yellow from lying by, but he will never notice it.
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To-night I will sleep—sleep like a top. Then I shall wake, take my bath, and go for a long walk. When I come home, I will sit in the garden and watch until the white boat appears in the distance.
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I had to take a dose of veronal, but I managed to sleep round the clock, from 9. P.M. to 9. A.M. The gardener has gone off in the boat; and I have two hours in which to dress.
What is the matter with me? Now that my happiness is so close at hand, I feel strangely depressed.
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Jeanne advises a little rouge. No! Joergen loves me just as I am....
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