It is said that we behave better, so far as outward signs go, when we wear our best clothes. Without fostering the love of dress, which is likely to be fully developed without help, especially among our girls, it cannot be too strongly impressed upon our children that they must never appear before others without being neatly and properly dressed. A principal of a famous Normal School used to instruct his students that they must always dress as well as they could afford.
"It will have a good effect upon your pupils," he said, "and it will help to establish the dignity of your profession."
One of the few compliments which foreign visitors generally paid us (before the war) was that we were a well-dressed people.
Perhaps this has had more effect upon their estimation of us as a nation than have some of our more solid virtues. Perhaps it is really a sign of the possession of solid virtues.
But, again, it is example which counts more than precept in the case of manners, as in everything else. If you wish your children to treat your wife with respect, you must treat her so yourself. If you rise when she enters the room; if you hasten to place a footstool for her; if you apologize for passing in front of her; if you hasten to help her up and down the rough places; then your children will do it. Otherwise, all of her and your injunctions will have small influence. There are good citizens and good soldiers who are uncouth and awkward in their manners, but a graceful courtesy clothing the more substantial qualities will give them far more weight in the community.
One impatient boy complained to his fastidious mother, who was bound to make him a gentleman in manners, no matter what else he might become, "Oh, mother, it is nothing but 'Thank you,' and 'I beg your pardon,' and jumping up to give people your seat, from morning to night—and I get so sick of it! When I grow up, I'm never going to say them or do them any more!"
Courtly and polished manners are said to be impossible among the mass of the people in a republic. Let us try to show the world that this is false. Distinction of manner is not one of the great qualities of a nation, but if we wish to impress upon a somewhat incredulous world the glory and beauty of our institutions, we shall find the cultivation of beautiful manners a great help.
Dr. Lyman Beecher once said, "What a pity that so many of our finest and most self-sacrificing Christians have had rough manners! They have robbed their example of half its force."
The current ambition that our nation should be courteous as well as brave, is shown plainly in the questions which come by the hundred to the "household departments" of our periodicals, especially from mothers and young people. Points of good behavior and etiquette are expounded there so fully and so often that there would seem to be no excuse for any ignorance among us of the proper conduct in any situation.
The printed answers to these questions do not always commend themselves to the judgment of the judicious; but, on the whole, they are satisfactory, especially when we consider that opinions of just what constitutes a lady or a gentleman have differed even among the best authorities.