“I just want to know one thing, Kramer,” I said. “Can we assimilate these substances, yes or no. If you don’t feel like co-operating, I’ll have you lashed to your bunk, and injected with them. You claim you’re a medical officer; let’s see you act like one.” I turned my back to him.

Mannion called. “They say the juice we fed them was ‘amusing,’ Captain. I guess that means it’s O.K.”

“I’ll let you know in a few minutes how their samples pan out,” I said.


Kramer took half an hour before reporting back. “I ran a simple check such as I normally use in a routine mess inspection,” he began. He couldn’t help trying to take the center of the stage to go into his Wise Doctor and Helpless Patient routine.

“Yes or no,” I said.

“Yes, we can assimilate most of it,” he said angrily. “There were six samples. Two were gelatinous substances, non-nutritive. Three were vegetable-like, bulky and fibrous, one with a high iodine content; the other was a very normal meaty specimen.”

“Which should we take?” I said. “Remember your teeth when you answer.”

“The high protein, the meaty one,” he said. “Marked ‘6’.”

I keyed for Mannion. “Tell them that in return for 1,000 KWH we require 3,000 kilos of sample six,” I said.