So on through the whole list of desires both natural and acquired, we have the benefits of their proper application and the sorrows and discomforts of their abuses. “Place even the highest-minded philosopher in the midst of daily discomfort, immorality and vileness, and he will insensibly gravitate toward brutality. How much more susceptible is the impressionable and helpless child amid such surroundings! It is not possible to rear a kindly nature, sensitive to evil, pure in mind and heart, amidst coarseness, discomfort and impurity.”
It is said that “the highest of our joys are found in the affections,” but because the appetites and desires seem primarily intended for the existence of our nature it does not follow that they are selfish. We would never know that we needed to take food were it not for the implanted appetite. We would never know that we needed to seek knowledge were it not for implanted desires, nor would we ever be led to deeds of love and sympathy were it not for the implanted affections.
SOWING SEEDS OF KINDLINESS
Good and friendly conduct may meet with an unworthy and ungrateful return, but the absence of gratitude on the part of the receiver cannot destroy the self-approbation which compensates the giver, and we can scatter the seeds of courtesy and kindliness around us at so little expense. Some of them will inevitably fall on good ground and grow up into benevolence in the minds of others, and all of them will bear fruits of happiness in the bosom whence they sprang.
Bentham says that “a man becomes rich in his own stock of pleasures in proportion to the amount he distributes to others. Kind words cost no more than unkind words. Kind words produce kind actions, not only on the part of him to whom they are addressed, but on the part of him by whom they are employed; and this not incidentally only, but habitually, in virtue of the principle of association. It may indeed happen that the effort of beneficence may not benefit those for whom it was intended, but when wisely directed it must benefit the person from whom it emanates.”
A well-known author tells a story of a little girl, a great favorite with every one who knew her. “Why does everybody love you so much?” She answered, “I think it is because I love everybody so much.” This little story is capable of a very wide application; for our happiness as human beings, generally speaking, will be found to be very much in proportion to the number of things we love, and the number of things that love us. The greatest worldly success, however honestly achieved, will contribute comparatively little to happiness unless it be accompanied by a lively benevolence toward every human being.
RESENTMENT AGAINST INJUSTICE
Then we have with the kindly affections the defensive affection—resentment, the spontaneous uprising of our natures against harm and injury. It meets impending danger in an instant—not only personal danger, but is present in our relations with others; as the mother repels harm from her child. The resentment against wrong and injustice should be taught as a righteous and noble attainment, but the abuses are equally dangerous.
The mother will do well to explain to the child the different qualities of this attainment. That quality which will protect him from wrong and injury and which is excited by cruelty and injustice on the one side, and on the other side the abuses which are passion and peevishness. Teach him that the giving away to sudden fits of anger stamps him as being ill-bred and peevishness is a sign of weak character; both of which are diseases that if not cured will tend to destroy the moral structure.
There is more virtue in one sunbeam than a whole hemisphere of clouds and gloom. Therefore, look on the bright side of things. Cultivate what is warm and genial—not the cold and repulsive, the dark and morose. Don’t neglect your duty; live down prejudice.