The prisoners at the bar are charged with disorderly conduct by the following facts: They emptied said bottle of champagne, which was reputed to hold one quart. That bottle of said wine was emptied completely, which is proven by your marshal, who, after the orgy in our leading hotel, did approach a waiter of said hotel and ask for a taste of said wine, but upon investigation the bottle was found to be entirely empty.
The aforesaid bottle contained one whole quart of an intoxicating beverage and was distributed among three people. Therefore, Judge, Your Honor, the prisoners must have been intoxicated and therefore disorderly. Your Honor, the prosecution rests its case.
Judge—Prisoners, step to the bar. You are charged with, etc., ad lib. What have you to say before sentence is passed upon you?
Prisoners—Not a blamed word.
Judge—I find the prisoners guilty and sentence them to pay a fine of $50, or ten days in the city prison.
Prisoners—Gee, you must be going to build a new courthouse.
Judge—Five dollars for kidding the court.
"I knew those fellows couldn't stand the strain of the $55 fine, so, turning my back in maidenly modesty to the court, I dug down in the lisle-thread bank and came up with a hundred dollar bill, the first one ever seen in Emporia. I tossed it carelessly on the desk, remarking, 'Take it out of that.' You could have knocked the court's eyes off with a club. I don't think he ever saw that much money in one group before in his life. The clerk of the court grabbed the fresh-air fund and did a rubber into the family safe for the change. All quiet along the Potomac. The whole blooming city didn't have change for a century note. Can you beat that? And they say there is no graft in Kansas. They had to go over to the speakeasy for a change. What do you know about that? A court of a Prohibition State going to a gin-mill for money.
"After we got through telling the court what he reminded us of and what he looked like, we tripped out to the machine and climbed on board and started out again. We rode around until 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning, and I got to bed just as the help was getting out to do the chores. Maybe you don't think that evening's amusement caused some scandal.
"Why, before breakfast the entire population was wise to the fact that Sabrina, the pride and glory of the village, was out drinking liquor and playing progressive hell with a couple of strange gentlemen.