And now good Countrey men let vs (I pray you) consider, what honour or policie can mooue vs to imitate the barbarous and beastly maners of the wilde, godlesse, and slauish Indians, especially in so vile and stinking a custome? Shall wee disdaine to imitate the maners of our neighbour France (hauing the stile of the first Christian Kingdom) and that cannot endure the spirit of the Spaniards (their King being now comparable in largenes of Dominions to the great Emperor of Turkie). Shall wee, I say, that haue bene so long ciuill and wealthy in Peace, famous and inuincible in Warre, fortunate in both, we that haue bene euer able to aide any of our neighbours (but neuer deafed any of their eares with any of our supplications for assistance) shall we, I say, without blushing, abase our selues so farre, as to imitate these beastly Indians, slaves to the Spaniards, refuse to the world, and as yet aliens from the holy Couenant of God? Why doe we not as well imitate them in walking naked as they doe? in preferring glasses, feathers, and such toyes, to golde and precious stones, as they do? yea why do we not denie God and adore the Deuill, as they doe?[A]
Now to the corrupted basenesse of the first vse of this Tobacco, doeth very well agree the foolish and groundlesse first entry thereof into this Kingdome. It is not so long since the first entry of this abuse amongst vs here, as this present age cannot yet very well remember, both the first Author,[B] and the forme of the first introduction of it amongst vs. It was neither brought in by King, great Conquerour, nor learned Doctor of Phisicke.
With the report of a great discouery for a Conquest, some two or three Sauage men, were brought in, together with this Sauage custome. But the pitie is, the poore wilde barbarous men died, but that vile barbarous custome is yet aliue,[C] yea in fresh vigor: so as it seemes a miracle to me, how a custome springing from so vile a ground, and brought in by a father so generally hated, should be welcomed vpon so slender a warrant. For if they that first put it in practise heere, had remembred for what respect it was vsed by them from whence it came, I am sure they would haue bene loath, to haue taken so farre the imputation of that disease vpon them as they did, by vsing the cure thereof. For Sanis non est opus medico, and counter-poisons are neuer vsed, but where poyson is thought to precede.
But since it is true, that diuers customes slightly grounded, and with no better warrant entred in a Commonwealth, may yet in the vse of them thereafter, prooue both necessary and profitable; it is therefore next to be examined, if there be not a full Sympathie and true Proportion, betweene the base ground and foolish entrie, and the loathsome, and hurtfull vse of this stinking Antidote.
I am now therefore heartily to pray you to consider, first vpon what false and erroneous grounds you haue first built the generall good liking thereof; and next, what sinnes towards God, and foolish vanities before the world you commit, in the detestable vse of it.[D]
As for these deceitfull grounds, that haue specially mooued you to take a good and great conceit thereof, I shall content myselfe to examine here onely foure of the principals of them; two founded vpon the Theoricke of a deceiuable apparance of Reason, and two of them vpon the mistaken Practicke of generall Experience.
First, it is thought by you a sure Aphorisme in the Physickes, That the braines of all men, being naturally colde and wet, all dry and hote things should be good for them; of which nature this stinking suffumigation is, and therefore of good vse to them. Of this Argument, both the Proposition and Assumption are false, and so the Conclusion cannot but be voyd of it selfe. For as to the Proposition, That because the braines are colde and moist, therefore things that are hote and drie are best for them, it is an inept consequence: For man beeing compounded of the foure Complexions (whose fathers are the foure Elements) although there be a mixture of them all in all the parts of his body, yet must the diuers parts of our Microcosme or little world within ourselves, be diuersly more inclined, some to one, some to another complexion, according to the diuersitie of their vses, that of these discords a perfect harmonie may bee made vp for the maintenance of the whole body.
The application then of a thing of a contrary nature, to any of these parts is to interrupt them of their due function, and by consequence hurtfull to the health of the whole body. As if a man, because the Liuer is hote (as the fountaine of blood) and as it were an ouen to the stomache, would therefore apply and weare close vpon his Liuer and stomache a cake of lead; he might within a very short time (I hope) be susteined very good cheape at an Ordinairie, beside the cleering of his conscience from that deadly sinne of gluttonie. And as if, because the Heart is full of vitall spirits, and in perpetuall motion, a man would therefore lay a heauy pound stone on his breast, for staying and holding downe that wanton palpitation, I doubt not but his breast would bee more bruised with the weight thereof, then the heart would be comforted with such a disagreeable and contrarious cure. And euen so is it with the Braines. For if a man, because the Braines are colde and humide, would therefore vse inwardly by smells, or ontwardly by application, things of hot and drie qualitie, all the gaine that he could make thereof would onely be to put himselfe in a great forwardnesse for running mad, by ouer-watching himselfe, the coldnesse and moistnesse of our braine beeing the onely ordinarie meanes that procure our sleepe and rest. Indeed I do not denie, but when it falls out that any of these, or any part of our bodie growes to be distempered, and to tend to an extremetie, beyond the compasse of Natures temperate mixture, that in that case cures of contrary qualities, to the intemperate inclination of that part, being wisely prepared and discreetely ministered, may be both necessarie and helpefull for strengthning and assisting Nature in the expulsion of her enemies: for this is the true definition of all profitable Physicke.
But first these Cures ought not to bee vsed, but where there is neede of them, the contrarie where of, is daily practised in this generall vse of Tobacco by all sorts and complexions of people.
And next, I deny the minor of this argument, as I haue already said, in regard that this Tobacco, is not simply of a hot and dry qualitie; but rather hath a certaine venemous facultie ioyned with the heate thereof, which makes it haue an Antipathie against nature, as by the hatefull smell thereof doeth well appeare. For the nose being the proper Organ and convoy of the sense of smelling to the braines, which are the onely fountaine of that sense, doeth euer serue vs for an infallible witnesse, whether that Odour which we smell, be healthfull or hurtfull to the braine (except when it fals out that the sense it selfe is corrupted and abused through some infirmitie, and distemper in the braine.) And that the suffumigation thereof cannot haue a drying qualitie, it needes no further probation, then that it is a smoake, all smoake and vapour, being of it selfe humide, as drawing neere to the nature of the ayre, and easie to be resolued againe into water, whereof there needes no other proofe but the meteors, which being bred of nothing else but of the vapours and exhalations sucked vp by the Sunne out of the earth, the Sea, and waters, yet are the same smoakie vapours turned, and transformed into Raynes, Snowes, Dewes, hoare Frostes, and such like waterie Meteors, as by the contrarie the raynie cloudes are often transformed and euaporated in blustering winds.