"I don't imagine so, but he's the head of electronics and I know he's been working on the unified field theory just as a hobby. He's the fellow who got me to wondering about energized metal particles in colloidal suspension. Think I'd better call him?"
"Son," I said, trying to retie my bathrobe belt, "You not only call him, but if it's possible, get him to come here.... I've got to get down. Hell, I haven't even shaved yet this morning, and I've got to be at work in about two hours."
"You may not get down from there that soon, but I'll go call him right now."
Jim left for the phone, and shortly Mary came in with a steaming tray of food. That's where the fun began.
First of all, picture the old house. It was very old, and had high, pine-paneled ceilings ... probably twelve feet high. Duchess and I were a little off-center, closer to the door, I guess. The room was big, and being on the ground floor, had a dormer window looking out on our rather scraggly garden. In fact, pretty soon I began to get the impression from the pine "boards" "beneath" me, that I was actually lying on a floor, and the ceiling to floor dormer window didn't do anything to help either. Curtains looked rather odd though, sticking straight "up."
About the food: Mary was right under us with the tray. She put it down, picked up a bowl of oatmeal and started to hand it to me. She couldn't reach high enough and I couldn't reach down far enough. The thought crossed my mind, "why not stand up?" Well, I tried it, Brother! What a sensation! As I began gathering my legs under me, the idea of being on a pine floor increased. Increased until I made the mistake of looking out the window! It's just plain impossible to describe, but try to imagine how it would look right now, if you looked out your window ... at the top (to you) is the ground, and at the bottom? Nothing! Just nothing, but blue sky. The vertigo was pretty bad and I flopped back down, or rather "up" and tried to regain my equilibrium.
"What's the matter?" my wife asked. "Don't you want any breakfast?"
As soon as I caught my breath, I said, "Well, yes and no, honey. Could you or Johnny get a ladder? I think that might do it." I could stay lying down that way.
Johnny brought in the short stepladder, so without standing "up" I at least got my hands on the food. Hands is about all. Here's a picture for you.... Flat on your back; an open dish of hot oatmeal open side to, coming right at you. When you grab it you have to reach around behind it to keep it from falling. You get it right up to your face, take the spoon and start to take a bite. How do you do it? I don't know either. I gave up oatmeal right then and there. Johnny, and again, bless his little heart, had the idea that saved us. "Hey, Dad, why don't you try a banana?" It worked! In fact, most any food that was in a chunk could be eaten. Difficult, but it could be done. The big problem then was liquid, and again Johnny came to my rescue with some fountain straws from the corner drugstore. For Duchess it was easy. She just lapped.