Transcriber's note.
This etext was produced from Worlds of If, January 1962. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the copyright on this publication was renewed.
Got a problem? Just pick up the phone. It solved them all—and all the same way!
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by KURT VONNEGUT, JR.
Everything was perfectly swell.
There were no prisons, no slums, no insane asylums, no cripples, no poverty, no wars.
All diseases were conquered. So was old age.
Death, barring accidents, was an adventure for volunteers.
The population of the United States was stabilized at forty-million souls.