“My Lord,—I am so full of God’s mercies that neither my eyes nor my heart can hold them. When I came hither, my stock was but little above ten shillings, and my wife’s at home scarce so much. She soon sent me her rings, because she had nothing else to relieve me with; but I returned them, and God soon provided for me. The most of those who have been my benefactors keep themselves concealed. But they are all known to Him who first put it into their hearts to show me so much kindness; and I beg your Grace to assist me to praise God for it, and to pray for His blessing upon them.
“This day I have received a letter from Mr Hoar, that he has paid £95, which he has received from me. He adds that ‘a very great man has just sent them £30 more;’ he mentions not his name, though surely it must be my patron. I find I walk a deal lighter; and I hope I shall sleep better now that these sums are paid, which will make almost half my debts. I am a bad beggar, and worse at returning formal thanks; but I can heartily pray for my benefactors; and I hope I shall do it while I live, and so long beg to be esteemed, your Grace’s most obliged, and thankful humble servant, Sam. Wesley.”
It is uncertain how much longer Mr Wesley was kept in Lincoln Castle; but four months after this he was once more at his home at Epworth. Archbishop Sharpe and others were extremely kind, and the following additional anecdote of his Grace’s thoughtful sympathy, deserves insertion. Mrs Wesley writes:—“When my master was in Lincoln Castle, the late Archbishop of York said to me, ‘Tell me, Mrs Wesley, whether you ever really wanted bread?’ My lord, said I, I will freely own to your Grace that, strictly speaking, I never did want bread. But then, I had so much care to get it before it was ate, and to pay for it after, as has often made it very unpleasant to me. And I think to have bread on such terms is the next degree of wretchedness to having none at all. ‘You are certainly in the right,’ replied his lordship, who seemed for a while very thoughtful. Next morning he made me a handsome present; nor did he ever repent having done so. On the contrary, I have reason to believe it afforded him comfortable reflections before his death.”[[183]]
Thus wrote Susannah Wesley respecting one of her husband’s friends. Hear what she says respecting one of his enemies. “Last Thursday, (May 1706,) a very sad accident happened here. Robert Darwin, a man of this town, was at Bawtry Fair, where he got drunk; and, riding homeward down a hill, his horse came down with him, and he fell with his face to the ground, and put his neck out of joint. Those with him immediately pulled it in again, and he lived till next day; but he never spoke more. His face was torn all to pieces, one of his eyes beat out, his under lip cut off, and his nose broken down. In short, he was one of the dreadfullest examples of the severe justice of God that I have known. This man, as he was one of the richest in this place, (Epworth,) so he was one of the most implacable enemies your father had among his parishioners; one that insulted him most basely in his troubles, one that was ready to do him all the mischief he could; not to mention his affronts to me and the children, and how heartily he wished to see our ruin. This man, and one more, have been now cut off, in the midst of their sins, since your father’s confinement.”[[184]]
The heroic wife, during the rector’s imprisonment, evinced fortitude, fidelity, and love, worthy of herself. Money she had none,—not a coin; the household lived on bread and milk, the produce of the Epworth glebe; but she did what she could to help her husband in his strait;—she sent him her little articles of jewellery, including her wedding-ring; but these he sent her back, as things far too sacred to be used in relieving his necessities. Brave-hearted couple! The wife did her duty; but the husband’s soul was far too noble to avail himself of such a sacrifice.
In his “Pious Communicant,” published in 1700, Samuel Wesley puts into the reader’s mouth a beautiful prayer, which he had doubtless often offered on his own behalf, and which, in his present circumstances, was peculiarly appropriate. The prayer, for itself, is worth preserving; and, in a narrative like this, is of some importance, as illustrating the thoroughly devout and Christian spirit of this much-tried godly minister. It is as follows:—
“A PRAYER FOR ONE IN AFFLICTION AND WANT.
“O God! who art infinite in power, and compassion, and goodness, and truth! who hast promised in Thy holy Word, that Thou wilt hear the prayer of the poor destitute, and wilt not despise his desire. Look down, I beseech thee, from heaven, the habitation of Thy holiness and glory, upon me a miserable sinner, now lying under Thy hand in great affliction and sorrow. I am weary of my groaning, my heart faileth me. The light of my eyes is gone from me, I sink in the deep waters, and there is none to help me; yet I wait still upon Thee my God. Though all the world forsake me, let the Lord still uphold me, and in Him let me always find the truest, the kindest, the most compassionate, unwearied almighty friendship. To Him let me ease my wearied soul, and unbosom all my sorrows!
“Help me, O Lord! against hope to believe in hope! Grant that I may not be moved with all the slights and censures of a mistaken world. Let me look by faith beyond this vale of tears and misery, to that happy place which knows no pain, or want, or sorrows. I know, O Lord! that a man’s life consists not in the abundance of the things that he possesses, but that he who has the most here, as he brought nothing with him into this world, so he shall carry nothing out. I bless Thee that Thou hast not given me my portion among those who have received all their consolation here, whose portion is in this life only. Neither let me expect those blessings which Thou hast promised to the poor, unless I am really poor in spirit, and meek, and humble. I know nothing is impossible with God, and that it is Thou alone who givest power to get riches, and that Thou canst by Thy good providence, raise me from this mean condition, whenever Thou pleasest, and will certainly do it, if it be best for me. I therefore humbly submit all unto Thy wise and kind disposal. I desire not wealth or greatness. Give me neither extreme poverty, nor do I ask riches of Thee, but only to be fed with food convenient for me. I desire earnestly to seek first the kingdom of God and the righteousness thereof, well hoping that, in Thy good time, food and raiment, and all other things that be needful shall be added unto me. I believe, O Lord! that Thou who feedest the ravens, and clothest the lilies, wilt not neglect me and mine,—that thou wilt make good Thy own unfailing promises,—wilt give meat to them that fear Thee, and be ever mindful of Thy covenant. In the meantime, let me not be querulous, or impatient, or envious at the prosperity of the wicked; or judge uncharitably of those to whom Thou hast given a larger portion of the good things of this life; or be cruel to those who are in the same circumstances as myself. Let me never sink or despond under my heavy pressures and continued misfortunes. Though I fall, let me rise again. Let my heart never be sunk so low that I should be afraid to own the cause of despised virtue. Give me diligence, and prudence, and industry, and let me neglect nothing that lies in me to provide honestly for my own house, lest I be worse than an infidel. Help me carefully to examine my life past; and, if by my own carelessness or imprudence, I have reduced myself into this low condition, let me be more deeply afflicted for it; but yet let me still hope in Thy goodness, avoiding those failures whereof I have been formerly guilty. Or, if for my sins Thou hast brought this upon me, help me now, with submission and patience, to bear the punishment of my iniquity. Or, if by Thy wise providence Thou art pleased thus to afflict me for trial, and for the example of others, Thy will, O my God! not mine, be done. Help me, and any who are in the same circumstances, in patience to possess our souls, and let all Thy fatherly chastisements advance us still nearer towards Christian perfection. Teach us the emptiness of all things here below—wean us more and more from a vain world. Fix our hearts more upon heaven, and help us forward in the way that leads to everlasting life; through Jesus Christ our Lord, to whom with the Father and the Holy Ghost, be glory, honour, and power, now and for ever. Amen!”[[185]]
Such a prayer as the above helps to supply the lack of a religious diary; and so will the following extracts from letters written immediately after Mr Wesley was released from Lincoln Castle. It ought to be premised that all the letters were addressed to his son Samuel, who was now sixteen years of age, and for two years past had been a pupil in Westminster School:—