To all eternity.’
“With respect to my body, I sleep less, and spit more blood than I did when you were here, nor can I bear the least trot of an easy horse. If this continues many days, instead of thinking to go and see my friends on the continent, I shall turn my steps to my earthly home, to be ready to lay my bones in my churchyard. Two of my parishioners came to convey me safe home, and had persuaded me to go with them in a post-chaise; but I had so bad a night before the day that I was to set out, that I gave it up. I have nothing to look at but Jesus and the grave. May I so look at them, as to live in my Resurrection and my life; and die in all the meekness and holiness of my Lord and my all.”[[424]]
Fletcher having decided to go to the continent, it became necessary to arrange monetary and other matters before he started. To two of his friends at Madeley, Mr. Thomas York and Mr. Daniel Edmunds, he wrote as follows:—
“Bristol, November, 1777.
“My Dear Friends,—The debt of gratitude I owe to a dying sister, who once took a long journey to see me, when I was ill in Germany, and whom I just stopped from coming, last winter, to Newington to nurse me,—the unanimous advice of the physicians whom I have consulted,—and the opportunity of travelling with serious friends,—have at last determined me to remove to a warmer climate. As it is very doubtful whether I shall be able to stand the journey; and, if I do, whether I shall be able to come back to England; and, if I come back, whether I shall be able to serve my church, it is right to make what provision I can to have it properly served while I live, and to secure some spiritual assistance to my serious parishioners when I shall die.
“I have attempted to build a house in Madeley Wood, about the centre of my parish, where I should be glad the children might be taught to read and write in the day, and the grown-up people might hear the Word of God in the evening, when they can get an Evangelist to preach it to them; and where the serious people might assemble for social worship when they have no teacher. The expense of that building, and paying for the ground it stands upon, have involved me in some difficulties; especially as my ill health has put on me the additional expense of an assistant.
“If I had strength, I would serve my church alone, board as cheaply as I could, and save what I was able to do from the produce of the living to clear the debt, and leave that little token of my love, free from encumbrances, to my parishioners.
“But, as Providence orders things otherwise, I have another object, which is to secure a faithful minister to serve the church while I live. Providence has sent me dear Mr. Greaves, who loves the people, and is loved by them. I should be glad to make him comfortable; and, as all the care of my flock, by my illness, devolves upon him, I would not hesitate for a moment to let him have all the profit of the living, if it were not for the debt contracted about the room. My difficulty lies, then, between what I owe to my fellow-labourer, and what I owe to my parishioners, whom I should be sorry to have burdened with a debt contracted for the room.
“My agreement with Mr. Greaves was to allow him forty guineas a year, out of which I was to deduct twelve for his board; but, as I cannot board him when I go abroad, I design to allow him, during my absence, £50 a-year, together with the use of my house, furniture, garden, and my horse, if he chooses to keep one; reserving the use of a room, and a stall in the stable, to entertain the preachers who help us in their Round: not doubting but that the serious people will gladly find them and their horses proper necessaries.
“But I know so little what my income may be, that I am not sure it will yield Mr. Greaves £50, after paying all the expenses of the living. Now I beg you will consult together, and see whether the Vicar’s income, i.e., tithes, etc., etc., will discharge all the expenses of the living, and leave a residue sufficient to pay a stipend of £50. I except the royalty, which I have appropriated to the expense of the Room. If it be, well; if there be any surplus, let it be applied to the Room; if there be anything short, then Mr. Greaves may have the whole, and take his chance in that respect, as it will be only taking the Vicar’s chance; for I doubt if sometimes, after necessary charges defrayed, the Vicars have had a clear £50.