“In the last years of his life, he never, except once, travelled far from home without being in danger of a relapse into his consumption; and after his return, he would be weeks before he recovered his usual strength. He also sometimes said to me that, though he had been engaged in the work of the Lord in various places and situations, the seasons of his closest communion with God were always in his own house and church.
“With regard to his communion with God, he constantly endeavoured to maintain an uninterrupted sense of the Divine presence. In order to this, he was slow of speech, and had the greatest government of his words. He acted, he spake, he thought, as under the immediate eye of God. Thus setting God always before him, he remained unmoved, at all times possessing internal recollection. I never saw him diverted therefrom on any occasion whatever. I travelled with him above a thousand miles, during which journeys neither change of company, place, nor circumstances ever seemed to make the least difference in his fixed attention to the presence of God. He was always striving to raise his own and every other spirit into close and immediate intercourse with God; and I can say, with truth, that all his union with me was so mingled with prayer and praise, that every employment and every meal were perfumed therewith.
“Some time ago, when the fever began to rage among us, he preached a sermon on visiting the sick; in which he seemed to be carried out of himself, observing, ‘What do you fear? You are afraid of catching the distemper, and of dying with those who have it. O fear no more! What an honour to die in your Master’s service! If this were permitted to me, I should esteem it a singular favour.’
“During the last few months, though his health and strength sensibly increased, he was constantly crying out for dying grace. Often would he say, ‘O Mary, I am afraid lest we should have our good things here. Let us look up. Let us live above all. We have one foot in the grave.’ He scarcely ever lay down or rose up without repeating—
“I nothing have, I nothing am;
My treasure’s in the bleeding Lamb,
Both now and evermore.
“There was scarce an hour in which he was not calling upon me to drop every thought and every care, that we might attend to nothing but drinking deeper into God. We spent much time in prayer for the fulness of the Spirit, and were led to an act of abandonment (as we called it) of our whole selves into the hands of God, to do or to suffer whatever was pleasing to Him.
“On Thursday, August 4, he was occupied in the work of God from three in the afternoon till nine at night; when he came home, and said, ‘I have taken cold.’ On Friday and Saturday, he was poorly; but went out part of each day, and seemed uncommonly drawn out in prayer.
“On Saturday night, his fever first appeared very strong. I begged him not to go to the church in the morning; but to let a pious brother,[[638]] who was with us, preach in the yard; but he told me, it was the will of the Lord that he should go. When I met a little company of our pious women, on Sunday morning, I begged they would pray that he might be strengthened. In reading the prayers, he almost fainted. I got through the crowd, with a friend, and entreated him to come out of the desk, as did some others; but, in his sweet manner, he let us know we were not to interrupt the order of God. I then retired to my pew. All around me were in tears. When he was a little refreshed, by the windows being opened and a nosegay thrown into the desk by a friend, he proceeded with the service. Going into the pulpit, he preached with a strength and recollection which surprised us all. In his first prayer, he said, ‘Lord, Thou wilt manifest Thy strength in weakness. We confer not with flesh and blood; but put our trust under the shadow of Thy wings.’