The Club must hail him Master of the Joke.
*****
Enough if all around him but admire.
I shall note down a few anecdotes about him by-and-bye.
‘PRODIGY’ POLLEN
Ld. H. met at Sheridan’s, one day lately, Mr. Pollen, the man who dreaded invasion for the sake of the chastity of the ladies: he had never seen him before. Ld. H. was telling a story to prove the openness of the Irish character, and how little suspicious they were of trusting their lives to a person of tolerable character. The story was told him by Ld. Wycombe as having happened to an acquaintance of his—a Mr. Henry. A man arrested him in the streets, and, without much prefatory discourse asked him if he would be of the Executive, adding, he was a United Irishman, and was delegated by those sitting in Dublin to ask him. Upon which Mr. Pollen immediately said: ‘The same thing precisely occurred to me at Perth. A United Scotsman proposed the same question, altho’ I was in my regimentals, and he knew I was quartered with my regiment.’ The coincidence was remarkable, but tho’ Scotsmen are more wary than Irishmen, yet it was possible there might be an indiscreet Scot. They then talked of poor Ld. Lauderdale, who is dreadfully ill. His complaint is a horrid one, a local dropsy, which he will not submit to have properly treated, upon which Mr. P. said, ‘There are two modes of treating the disease: there is the palliative and the radical. I first tried the palliative, but it was troublesome, and ever since I used the radical I have felt no inconvenience.’ Ld. H. said he began to stare at two such extraordinary things having been mentioned, and that both should have happened to him. He is not above 25 or 26, and that disorder is generally in old, worn-out constitutions, and, if one may judge from Gibbon’s averseness to mention the complaint, is not one that men are apt to boast of having.... Ld. H. was all astonishment at these stories, but upon inquiry he found Mr. Pollen’s nickname was ‘Prodigy’ Pollen.
Wednesday, 13th. Feb.—On Sunday, ye 10th, Mr. Hare[242] came to pass a few days. On Wednesday Bor. and Amherst dined. On last Sunday Hare returned. Grey and Tierney dined. Miss Fox stayed from Saturday to Monday.
Hare was full of wit and pleasantry. I was expressing surprise that a man so universally extolled for his conversation and talents should not, to my taste, be pleasant, for the fact is, I never received the smallest entertainment from Sheridan’s convivial abilities. Hare said what is true enough, that before women he is always playing a game. His forte is at a club over wine, and in debate. Among many things he told us of a reply of S., in debate, to Dundas, who had asserted a falsehood for a fact, and supported it by some well-known trite joke. S. complimented the honble. gentleman upon his abilities, especially upon possessing to a remarkable degree a retentive memory and fertile imagination, but that those faculties unfortunately were perverted, as his memory was directed to works of imagination, and his imagination to facts. S. himself, however, is less tenacious about facts than he ought to be. There is a story of his offering some stories to Mr. Fox, to assist him in argument, but the latter, who is very strict as to what he asserts, asked if they were well authenticated, and, finding they depended upon report, declined using them; upon which S. said, ‘He is so d——d surly about facts.’
S. was to have dined here on Sunday, but did not; probably to avoid meeting Tierney and Grey, as he hates the former, and is displeased at not being supported by the latter. His motion very nearly failed, as nobody seconded it for full 10 minutes, and then an obscure man jumped up and did it. All their squabbles are diverting, for as to any good they can do, it is a farce to suppose any can be done. This Union, they say, is to be carried at all risks. Ld. H. is gone this morning to arrange with Ld. Fitzwilliam, but the subject is so tiresome, and I have heard so much of it, that I cannot enter into the merits or demerits of the case.
LEWIS’ VERSES