(Both go in as Fardy reappears whistling.)
Hyacinth: (Sitting down.) I don’t know in the world what has come upon the world that the half of the people of it should be cracked!
Fardy: Weren’t you found out yet?
Hyacinth: Found out, is it? I don’t know what you mean by being found out.
Fardy: Didn’t he miss the sheep?
Hyacinth: He did, and I told him it was I took it—and what happened I declare to goodness I don’t know—Will you look at these? (Holds out notes.)
Fardy: Papers! Are they more testimonials?
Hyacinth: They are what is worse. (Gives a hoarse laugh.) Will you come and see me on the platform—these in my hand—and I speaking—giving out advice. (Fardy whistles.) Why didn’t you tell me, the time you advised me to steal a sheep, that in this town it would qualify a man to go preaching, and the priest in the chair looking on.
Fardy: The time I took a few apples that had fallen off a stall, they did not ask me to hold a meeting. They welted me well.
Hyacinth: (Looking round.) I would take apples if I could see them. I wish I had broke my neck before I left Carrow and I’d be better off! I wish I had got six months the time I was caught setting snares—I wish I had robbed a church.