Ah! why did you not come directly, and bring Lucy? what a comfort to me!
In compliance with Lady Hester Stanhope’s wishes, I resolved to await the coming of spring, in order to conduct my family to England, and, leaving them there, to set off alone for Syria. But new difficulties had arisen, and Lady Hester’s situation had become more painful by a severe loss which she unexpectedly sustained in the death of her long-tried and affectionate companion, Miss Williams. It was some time in December that Mr. Webb, of Leghorn, communicated to me a letter from Lady Hester Stanhope, giving him the melancholy news of this sad event. The letter was in French, dictated to some secretary whom she had found to carry on her correspondence, and it is here translated for the convenience of the general reader.
Lady Hester Stanhope to Mr. John Webb, merchant,
at Leghorn.
Djoun, 24th of October, 1828.
Sir,
When I received your letter of the 17th of July, I was very ill, confined to my room, and occasionally delirious: nevertheless, in a moment of reason, I desired Mr. Gerardin to acquaint you with the great loss I had sustained in the faithful Miss Williams.
After two years of plague, there broke out, over almost all Mount Lebanon, a kind of fever, which I do not know precisely how to name. Whether it was a sort of yellow or malignant fever, poor Miss Williams fell a victim to it, as well as a servant, named Môosa, the only one in whom I had any confidence; and I but just escaped death from it myself. I am, as it were, come to life again by a miracle, owing to the attentions of a rich peasant, who came from a considerable distance to assist me. He found me entirely abandoned, delirious, and at the point of death; and left in that state by whom?—by wicked maids, who had cost Miss W. and me such pains in endeavouring to make something of them. You may easily imagine that I did not keep such ungrateful sluts an instant after I came to myself. Even in the weak state in which I was, I felt in a rage at the deplorable accounts which were given me of the detestable indifference which they showed when Miss W. was dying, occupying themselves in pilfering what they could lay their hands on: but I have already told you what the Christians of this country are. At the present moment, I have nobody to assist me but some old women of the village, the most stupid and ignorant creatures in the world. My greatest resource is a girl of eight years old, whom I have brought up, who appears attached to me, and who is less stupid than the others.[23] However, one cannot get well very fast, attended by such people, to whom it is impossible to trust a key. I am moved from my bed to the sofa, and from the sofa to the bed, and I am not yet able to walk unsupported; but, if I was better waited on, and had more quiet and proper things to eat, I know very well what an effort my iron constitution would make, which has brought me through this illness without doctor or doctor’s-stuff. I have a good appetite; but my weakness of stomach does not enable me to digest the coarse and badly-cooked food which they give me to eat, seeing that my stomach has been very much disordered for want of nourishment during fifteen days, having subsisted all that time on barley-water and plain water.
My ignorance of what passed around me was not, properly speaking, the delirium of fever; it was a stupor, caused by the neglect with which I was treated. The peasant says that, when he entered my bed-room,[24] he found me stiff and cold, in the state of one dying of hunger: he gave me food immediately. After some days I came to myself, and am now gaining strength. But, in the midst of all this, I am not melancholy. What has happened has happened, and whatever is is best. To-day I was telling Mr. Beaudin[25] some anecdotes of the celebrated Duke of Dorset, which were of no very mournful turn. Mr. Beaudin’s coming has been of the greatest service to me in every way. He has raised for me, with a great deal of difficulty, some money, for which I have given him my bill of exchange for 1000 dollars, dated October the 15th. I have given him another bill for 500 dollars, dated the 24th of October. I endeavour to scrape together as much as I can, because the aspect of the times is dark. I must lay in provisions of all kinds; for in a short time it will not be so easy to do it, as some imagine, and prices will rise to something incredible.
It seems to me that, if Dr. —— had decided on coming, he would have been here before now. Well! I have got over this illness without his assistance, or that of any other doctor, and one feels much more elevated when God has been one’s physician. It is the Supreme Being alone who has saved me in all my difficulties for these last twenty years, and who has given me strength to support what others would have sunk under.