James’s loss,[6] the general’s death—all has afflicted me beyond description. I heard of James’s affliction six months after. To write, not to write—no proper conveyance—what to say—after a year, perhaps, to open the wounds of his heart without being able to pour in one drop of the balm of consolation! What I say would be vain. He considers me as a sort of poor mad woman, who has once loved him; therefore, he is kind to me: but as to my opinions having weight—no! To be considered as a sort of object is not flattering; but so let it be. There is no remedy for it, or other evils, except in the hand of God, which, if he will stretch forth to save me, all may vanish; if not, I shall vanish; for I am quite worn out.
You will probably never receive the letter I alluded to, enclosed to a person. They must have heard of your conduct, and therefore think it unnecessary to see you, or give you the letter. Why did you inquire about this? What a simpleton you are! But there it all ends: there will be no more jumbles to make. Perhaps you may not hear from me, or of me, for years.
Remember, I shall give no opinion about you to any one; therefore, do not fancy, if you see a change in people’s conduct, it comes from me. The world and fashionable loungers take up new favourites every day, and discard the old ones without reason. All are not General Grenvilles. No one so likely to be mortified at this as you.
Why do you not talk to me of James’s poor little children, and why not have asked to see them? Have you forgotten how all about him interests me? I fear folly and fashion have got hold of you....
H. L. Stanhope.
In the year 1826, my professional engagements with the honourable individual before alluded to having ceased, I made the necessary preparations for my departure from England. Lady Hester Stanhope’s situation, feelings, and intentions at this precise time, will be best understood from three long letters which she wrote on three successive days of January, 1827, the very month in which I set out, but which I did not receive until the July following, at Pisa. To make the contents of these letters intelligible, it is necessary to premise that a traveller, whom we will designate as Mr. X., had, during a visit to her ladyship, at her residence, insinuated himself into her confidence so far as to make her believe that he was sent by the Duke of Sussex and the Duke of Bedford, and a committee of other influential Freemasons, to inquire into her wants, and to offer her such sums of money out of their funds as would extricate her from her pecuniary difficulties. How she could believe in such a gross tissue of falsehoods it is difficult to imagine, unless we are to suppose that Mr. X. was himself the dupe of others, who, for some sinister purpose, had furnished him with papers and documents so apparently authentic as to impose even upon Lady Hester Stanhope’s wonted sagacity.[7]
Lady Hester Stanhope to Dr. ——.
Djoun, January 5, 1827.