The frame of Lady Hester’s mind at this period may be further understood from the following letter, which was sent to me, with a secret injunction to read it to my wife.
To Dr. ——, at Mar Elias.
Djôon, Sept. 23, 1837.
Whilst waiting for M. Guys’ answer, I have some remarks to make, worthy of your attention. I do not speak in wrath, my dear doctor, but I do not see how, at this period, you are to help yourself; and it is plain to perceive that you will not be able in any way to accomplish the objects you came for. Therefore, I should deem it as an act of folly to stick you up as a sort of maskara[80] in the public eye at Beyrout, merely to write a few letters. The whole of my business M. Guys offered to undertake before I sent for you, and to come here and write for me; but I had reasons for wishing you to come, which no longer exist; for under no circumstances do I see that you would be comfortable near me, nor should I wish for it, either at present or in future. Therefore, if you like to pass the winter at Cyprus, where, perhaps, you would be more comfortable than at Beyrout, you are at full liberty to do so. When my affairs are settled, you might then, if Cyprus pleases you, purchase a little terre there, or return to Europe, as you like best.
I am very glad that you wrote to M. Guys yourself; for I had described a country-house near some village, and you have described a sort of coffee-house near the gate of the town. You talked to me of Mrs. ——’s great love of retirement (which I laughed at, at the time,) and therefore she chooses a house upon the high road. But leave all that childish vulgar stuff; I do not wish for a hasty answer, as this subject requires reflection. Try and make yourself comfortable, and I shall find means of settling my business to my satisfaction; only I must have a clear and distinct answer, that I may make arrangements accordingly.
Your sincerely,
Hester Lucy Stanhope.
PS. Should my messenger retard, it is for M. Guys to be able to answer your letter about the house. I enclosed your two letters to be forwarded to England. Do not fidget yourself about me. I have made many awful sacrifices in my life; surely I can make a small one, when I know what it is. This is what distinguishes the truly great from the low and vulgar.
On returning to the Dar, I remained there eight days. Our conversations turned principally, during this period, on her father’s seat at Chevening, the people in that neighbourhood, and the happiness of her early days there. She recollected the names of all the gentry thereabouts, of the farmers, as also of her father’s servants, and could tell anecdotes respecting them with such a minuteness of particulars, that the individuals, to their surprise, after the lapse of so many years, would have found she remembered more of them than they did of themselves.