Mrs. Grant is a Missourian by birth, and her early years were spent on her father’s farm, Whitehaven (now the property of her husband), near St. Louis. Her father, Judge Dent, was a man of position and importance, and his son was, at the time now referred to, a cadet at West Point. Through her brother Miss Dent made the acquaintance of his classmate, and in the course of events very naturally this young couple, mutually pleased with each other, plighted their troth. The match was not particularly pleasing to the parents of Miss Julia, and it was with no little satisfaction that they saw the young officer ordered to frontier duty with the army under General Taylor. Once out of sight they hoped that their daughter’s feelings would undergo a change, and that she eventually would make a more brilliant match. But events occurred which endeared him to the family, and when, to crown all, young Grant saved the life of Lieutenant Dent in Mexico, the objections of the family gave way and they unconditionally surrendered. The constancy of the young people was rewarded after an engagement of five years, when, on the 22d of August, 1848, they were married. The wedding took place at Judge Dent’s residence in St. Louis, and a merry one it was to all concerned. After the festivities the young bride accompanied her husband to Sackett’s Harbor, on Lake Ontario, and after a stay there of six months, removed with him to Detroit, where he was stationed for more than two years. They kept house in a little vine-covered cottage near the barracks, and lived in the most unpretentious style. During their residence in Detroit, Mrs. Grant made a visit to her parents in St. Louis, and during her stay their first son, now Lieut.-Colonel Fred. D. Grant, was born. Two years later, and while the father was on the Pacific coast, Ulysses, the second son, was born at the residence of his paternal grandfather, in Bethel, Ohio. The other children born of this union are Nellie, the only daughter, and Jesse; the former in August, 1855; the latter in 1858. Both of these were born at their grandfather Dent’s country home, near St. Louis, the birth-place of their mother.
After Captain Grant’s resignation, in 1854, he returned to Missouri, poor and disheartened, and with no prospects before him. His father-in-law, to assist him, gave his wife a farm of sixty acres, and here for several years he fought poverty with his plough and axe—poor weapons, indeed, for one born to wield the sword, and educated in a military school. Of course he failed, and leaving “Hardscrabble,” the title which he had himself given to the scene of such hard and unrequited labors, he entered the real estate office of a cousin of his wife’s in St. Louis. He began his career as agent without a hope of success, and but for his family would doubtless have thrown up the position in despair. Nothing sustained him in all these years of bitter adversity and uncongenial surroundings but the hopefulness of his wife and the unaffected and unchanging faith she had in him. It nerved him to renewed effort, and animated him with fresh zeal each time that he faltered in his rough pathway. Her affection was appreciated by him in return, and his tenderness and fidelity was such that to them poverty was less terrible to bear than it was to their friends to witness. But there were four little mouths to feed, and the father felt that yet greater effort must be made for them. His wife did all the work of their home, and yet with the most frugal care he could not meet his expenses.
In the spring of 1860 he paid a visit to his father at Covington, Kentucky, to take counsel with him concerning his future, and to plan some new way to struggle for bread. His father owned a valuable business at Galena, where two younger brothers were making money, and into this establishment went the unfortunate ex-captain on a salary of six hundred dollars a year. Moving his little family to Galena, he commenced work in the tannery which has since been made famous by his association with it. Poverty went with him to his new home, and what had been “hardscrabble” on the little farm, and in St. Louis, was hardscrabble still; he could not meet expenses. Twice his salary was increased, yet he could not afford to keep any help, and his wife was maid of all work, and nurse and teacher of her children as well.
The business did not grow more congenial to the husband, though he tried his best to do his duty in it, and worked many times as hard as would have been necessary had he loved his task. Possibly, one reason of his unpleasant position was due to the fact that his brother, who was thirteen years his junior, was his employer, and as the success of the business was due to the enterprise of this brother and another still younger, the place he held, and which he could not satisfactorily fill, grew daily more disagreeable and unpleasant.
The twelfth of April, 1860, the day of the fall of Fort Sumter, and the death-knell of slavery, was the turning point in the life of Captain Grant, as it was to many thousands of others, both North and South. But to no one man in the nation has it proven of such personal significance as to him.
He was soon appointed captain of a volunteer company raised in Galena; afterwards was made colonel, and later, through Gov. Washburne’s influence, he received the appointment of brigadier-general. From this time he rapidly rose to distinction and recognition. Mrs. Grant and the children were at her father’s or visiting his father’s family at Covington, during these first years of the rebellion; she caring for her husband’s honor and studying his interest in every possible way.
While General Grant was in command at Cairo, just after the battle of Belmont, and while his promotion to a major-generalship was being discussed, a relation of his said to her: “Ulysses may get along as brigadier, but he had better be satisfied with that and not seek to rise higher.”
“There is no danger of his reaching a position above his capacity,” she replied, indignantly. “He is equal to a much higher one than this, and will certainly win it if he lives.” And this was the recognition she always gave him, and to this fearless advocate of his worth he was indebted for much of the material help he had received from both his and her family. In this time of success—though as well of anxiety—she repeatedly defended him, and more than once brought smiles to the faces of her friends by saying: “Mr. Grant has great natural ability, he would fill any public position well if he once had a chance.”
After the capture of Fort Donelson, while yet the country was ringing with praises of her husband’s exploits, she visited him at that point, and later she paid him a visit at Jackson, Mississippi. Just after the surrender of Vicksburg she was in St. Louis, where she was serenaded by a great concourse of people, and in response to their repeated demand she appeared on the balcony of the hotel, leaning on the arm of General Strong. The moment she came in view the people greeted her with vociferous cheers. She was beginning to be made aware of the exalted place her husband had won in the admiration of the people, and for the first time she was sharing with him the dignity of the place to which he had risen.
Several weeks were spent with her husband at Vicksburg, and then, when his head-quarters were established at Nashville, she removed her children there, and remained in that city until after his appointment as lieutenant-general, making during the time a visit to St. Louis.