Feb. 4, 1986… I'm feeling pretty good these past few days. It's a welcome change. My dreams are so horrible, though. I almost wondered if I'd screamed aloud. One was about rodents that were attacking me and biting my fingers.
I sent for an oak T.V. swivel; it works great. I've chosen more of my slides so Dad can take them in for more prints.
Mar. 5, 1986… I've written through my high school years and now I'm in the anorexic stage and Black Hawk College. It's so hard to work. I'm either too tired or so uncomfortable. My mid-section is huge. It hangs below my bikini underwear. When I sit I must be so straight or it's uncomfortable. Sleeping has become more difficult, also. I get up twice or more most nights. . . sometimes to go the bathroom, other times my hips hurt (I'm so thin), or my ears pound until I sit up and swallow. Sometimes I can't breathe and have to get up and position my pillows on an incline so I can breathe easier.
Mom permed my hair again. It gives it body. I can use the curling iron in the morning if it's needed. I feel better about my looks when it's this way.
I haven't written in my journal for so long. Valentines were abundant.
The wall behind the sofa is complete; I've 4 photos ready to hang when Dad gets the 9" x 12" photo of the shack in the Smokies. I have finished putting my other photos in an album; at least they are no longer loose.
Mar 29, 1986… Dad and Mom installed the air conditioner in my room. (It got up to 78 degrees!) They're putting the other one in my living room window. For awhile, I was afraid Dad was against the idea and it sort of choked me up because I began to think I'd be enclosed in one room for the next five months. It wasn't a great thought. Last year I could get outside and roam around. Now, it's being upstairs and that's about all. I felt stupid; I cry about the least thing anymore. I'm so weak, I lose control easily.
I'm going to work on my quilt, so Mom set up the portable Singer on
Dad's high machine shop stool; I'll sit on the bed when I sew.
I've been taking Lasix 4 times a day; it seems to work better that way. I take the Aldactone in between. It's difficult to walk. When I sit, the water drains into the current position; when I get up, it feels like my skin will rip.
I had problems sleeping until we put pillows under the egg-crate mattress so I was propped up on a steep incline. I couldn't breathe before.