"Oh, yes, sir, they are always read," corrected the Lord Functionary, "but our readers have necessarily to go upon certain lines. They are guided by precedent and custom, which it would be highly inadvisable to disturb."
So he pleaded that the status quo ante might prevail; and yet, man to man, he could not defend what the King showed him.
"Could you," inquired his Majesty indignantly, "read such things aloud to your own family? Could you comfortably, if I called upon you to do so, read them aloud to me?"
"The drama," explained the Lord Functionary, "is so different from anything else; it has not to observe the same conventions. In light comedy, especially, these things really do not count. People never trouble to think about them—they mean nothing."
"In that case," said the King, "no one will mind your cutting them out."
The Lord Functionary seemed not so sure,—his assurance went, in fact, in quite an opposite direction. He pleaded hard for the trade interests which he stood to represent. The play was in an advanced state of rehearsal; many thousands had been spent upon it; and, seeing that it was but a revival, no doubt about the new version passing had existed anywhere.
But to all his entreaties the King remained adamant.
"In this matter," said he, "you have to consult my conscience."
The point could not be further argued.
"It is very unfortunate," said the Lord Functionary in acid tones.