El. I hope soon to have the pleasure of
being introduced to Mr Plumper’s mother. I am sure I shall like her.
Fl. Oh, I am sure you will; she is the dearest, most delightful old lady! [Aside.] At least I hope she is by this time, for she was a horrid old cat up to the day of her death, ten years ago. By Jove! here come Mrs Plumper and the young uns. Now for it!
Enter Mrs Plumper.
Mrs Plumper. Why, Adolphus, where have you been? Excuse me, madam; I did not see that you were upon my husband’s arm. Perhaps he’ll have the goodness to present his wife to you.
El. His wife! her husband! [Screams—faints.]
Mrs P. Yes, madam. You may well scream, “His wife! her husband!” and then pretend to faint. Who else’s wife do you suppose I am?
Ad. I am sorry I have no time for explanation now, as I must attend to this young lady; but if you will have the kindness to hold my hat, Mr Flamm. [Hands his hat to Flamm.] And you, madam, to take care of
these. [Takes off his wig and spectacles and hands them to Mrs Plumper.] Your own senses will explain a good deal. As you may have already discovered, I am not Mr Plumper at all; in fact, I perceive him approaching. Help me to hold her head a little higher, please Mr Flamm; and Mrs Plumper, kindly undo the back of her dress, or her stays, or her chiton, or whatever is underneath, and let go everything generally, so as to give her a chance of breathing.
Enter Plumper.