21. detaind by Lord & Lady Spencer who had made a party to dine & sup on my Acct. Impatient to set out for my Solitude—there the Mind, Eliza! gains strength, & learns to lean upon herself—and seeks refuge in its own Constancy & Virtue—in the world it seeks or accepts of a few treacherous supports—the feign’d Compassion of one—the flattery of a second—the Civilities of a third—the friendship of a fourth—they all deceive—& bring the Mind back to where mine is retreating—that is Eliza! to itself—to thee who art my second self, to retirement, reflection & Books—when The Stream of Things, dear Bramine, Brings Us both together to this Haven—will not your heart take up its rest for ever? & will not yr. head Leave the world to those who can make a better thing of it—if there are any who know how.—Heaven take thee Eliza! under it’s Wing—adieu! adieu—
22d.
Left Bond Street & London wt. it, this Morning—What a Creature I am! my heart has ached this week to get away—& still was ready to bleed in quiting a Place where my Connection with my dear dear Eliza began—Adieu to it! till I am summon’d up to the Downs by a Message, to fly to her—for I think I shall not be able to support Town without you—& wd. chuse rather to sit solitary here till the end of the next Summer—to be made happy altogether—then seek for happiness—or even suppose I can have it, but in Eliza’s Society.
23d.[[27]] bear my Journey badly—ill—& dispirited all the Way—staid two days on the road at the A-Bishops of Yorks—shewd his Grace & his Lady and Sister yr. portrait—wth. a short but interesting Story of my friendship for the Original—kindly nursed & honourd both—arrived at my Thatchd Cottage the 28th. of May.
29th. & 30th.—confined to my bed—so emaciated, and unlike what I was, I could scarse be angry with thee Eliza, if thou Coulds not remember me, did heaven send me across thy way—Alas! poor Yorick!—“remember thee! Pale Ghost—remember thee—“whilst Memory holds a seat in this distracted World—Remember thee—Yes from the Table of her Memory,” shall just Eliza wipe away all trivial men—& leave a throne for Yorick—adieu dear constant Girl—adieu—adieu—& Remember my Truth and eternal fidelity—Remember how I Love—remember what I suffer.—Thou art mine Eliza by Purchace—had I not earn’d thee with a bitter price.
31.