“And as he spoke so was it. Man’s love was as brief as the life of last year’s calendar, and ever since the year one, women have been called the daughters of Eve.
“Thus is fulfilled the prophecy of Darwin, as interpreted by the firstborn of the earth, Cain Smythe of Eden.”
WHEN ADAM WAS A BOY: RANDOM
RECOLLECTIONS OF THE
OLDEST INHABITANT.
CHAPTER IX.
When Adam was a Boy: Random Recollections of the Oldest Inhabitant.
By the time Cain had completed his recital, we had reached an extensive estate in the suburbs of Cimmeria.
“This is my birthplace,” said Cain, proudly.
“What! the Garden of—”
“Haven’t you heard that E. P. Roe has driven us back to Eden? At first Mother didn’t want to come, for contrary to legendary lore, Eden is situated at the North Pole. It is pretty cold when one’s only covering is a shiver and the shadow of the Arctic circle. The only way Eve could keep warm was by reading Jonathan Edwards’ sermons. She was especially interested in the one wherein he said that sinners are held over the pit of hell as one holds a spider or some other—the ‘other’ is mine: I have to correct his grammar as well as his theology—loathsome insect over the fire.
“After reading that, nothing would do for Mother Eve but that she must cease shivering and become a sinner in order to have a hot time. Of course being a woman, the snake could not resist her fascination, and so she had no more reason to complain of the cold. Roe tried to open a chestnut burr, pricked his fingers and got so mad that he drove the old folks back to Eden. Mother Eve flirted with a Stygian plumber until she got him to put hot air pipes from Jonathan Edwards’ crematory to the Aiden roof garden. Weatherwise, the mater is again comfortable.”
Adam and Eve were eating apples under the trees as we entered the Garden. So glad was Eve to see a man who wasn’t a shade that she put a pair of cherry lips to mine with a resounding smack.