Stro. Troth, shou’d ye beg Hunger it self of him, the Wretch wou’d deny ye. Nay more; whenever he gets his Nails to be cut, he carefully scrapes up all the Parings, and saves ’em.
Con. Why, faith, this is the most miserable Cur upon the face of the Earth.—— But is he really such a pinching Wretch as you say?
Stro. Why t’other day a Kite chanc’d to steal a bit of something from him; this poor Devil goes strait to my Lord Chief Justice’s, crying, roaring, and houling for his Warrant to apprehend it.—— O, I cou’d tell ye a thousand of these Stories, if I had leisure.
This is stretching of a Character a degree above Nature and Probability; yet these sort, at first sight, will glare and dazle a common Audience, and sometimes give a superficial Pleasure to a more judicious one; but are carefully to be avoided by any correct Writer.
His Miles Gloriosus, or Braggadocio, is as remarkable a Character as this, and there you may see another too in the same place, one who wheadles as much as the other boasts, and plays the Knave as much as the other does the Fool. For the Reader’s Satisfaction, here follows a Translation of the first Act of the Miles Gloriosus, which begins between that Blockhead and his Buffoon.
Pyrgopolinices, with his Servant Artotrogus, and his Soldiers.
Pyr. to his Soldiers.] Take care to have my Buckler out-shine the resplendent Sun, when the Heavens are serene; so that in the midst o’ the Battel, I may dazle the Eyes of my Enemies, and confound every man of ’em.—— In the mean time, I’ll comfort my bold Bilbo, that he might n’t be dull and melancholly for want of use this long time; for the poor Rogue is damnably eager to slice all my Foes, and make a Hash of ’em.—— But where’s Artotrogus?
Art. Here, an’t like your Honour, ready to wait upon a Man o’ the greatest Fortitude and Fortune i’ th’
Universe, and o’ the most majestick Air; then for personal Valour, Lord, Mars himself dare n’t pretend to measure Swords with you.
Pyr. You mean him in the spatious Gurgustidonian Plains, the mighty Generalissimo, Bombomachides— Cluninstaridy— Sarchides, great Neptune’s Grand-child?——