“Sir, I durst not. Indeed, I could not well say what was the matter with me: and I thought you would look upon me as very bold, if I had spoke about myself to such a gentleman as you: yet I often wished that you knew what I felt and feared. Sometimes, as we went away from your house, I could not help crying; and then the other children laughed and jeered at me, and said I was going to be very good, they supposed, or at least to make people think so. Sometimes, sir, I fancied you did not think so well of me as of the rest, and that hurt me; yet I knew I deserved no particular favour, because I was the chief of sinners.”
“My dear, what made St. Paul say he was chief of sinners? In what verse of the Bible do you find this expression, ‘the chief of sinners;’ can you repeat it?”
“‘This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners;’—is not that right, sir?”
“Yes, my child, it is right; and I hope that the same conviction which St. Paul had at that moment has made you sensible of the same truth. Christ came into the world to save sinners: my dear child, remember now and for ever more, that Christ came into the world to save the chief of sinners.”
“Sir, I am so glad he did. It makes me hope that he will save me, though I am a poor sinful girl. Sir, I am very ill, and I do not think I shall ever get well again. I want to go to Christ if I die.”
“Go to Christ while you live, my dear child, and he will not cast you away when you die. He that said, ‘Suffer little children to come unto me,’ waits to be gracious to them, and forbids them not.”
“What made you first think so seriously about the state of your soul?”
“Your talking about the graves in the churchyard, and telling us how many young children were buried there. I remember you said, one day, near twelve months ago, ‘Children! where will you be a hundred years hence? Children! where do you think you shall go when you die? Children! if you were to die to-night, are you sure you should go to Christ and be happy?’ Sir, I never shall forget your saying, ‘Children,’ three times together in that solemn way.”
“Did you ever before that day feel any desire about your soul?”
“Yes, sir; I think I first had that desire almost as soon as you began to teach us on Saturday afternoons; but on that day I felt as I never did before. I shall never forget it. All the way as I went home, and all that night, these words were in my thoughts: ‘Children! where do you think you shall go when you die?’ I thought I must leave off all my bad ways, or where shall I go when I died?”