“Vinegar-Vinegar-Vinegar Man!

Face-us-and-chase-us-and-catch-if-you-can!

Pepper for a tongue! Pickle for a nose!

Stick a pin in him and vinegar flows!

Glare-at-us-swear-at-us-catch-if-you-can!

Ketch-up-and-chow-chow-and-Vinegar-Man!”

Nothing but recipes and worthless junk; greasy old records of paid and due;

But, down in the depths of a battered old trunk, a queer, quaint valentine torn in two—

Red hearts and arrows, and silver lace, and a prim, dim, ladylike script that said—

(Oh, Vinegar Man, with the sour old face!)—“With dearest love, from Ellen to Ned!”