Derndest gal I ever knowed!

—Copyright by Harr Wagner Co., San Francisco, and used by kind permission of author and publisher.

ON NEWBRASKY’S FERTILE SHORE

By Herbert Bashford

Oh, I am so orful humsick! An’ I feel so wretched queer!

Ephrum, he has gone a-ridin’ on a wild eclectric keer,

Rhody—that’s my only darter—she has gone an’ left me, tew,

Both a trapesin’ ’round like ijits—wonder what’s th’ next they’ll do?

They don’t seem to think they’re darin’ Providence right in th’ face,