Esther Johnson, or Stella—to give her the name which she did not receive until after the period of the famous journals—was one of the first of these worshippers. As we have seen, he taught her to write, and when he went to Laracor, she accepted the peculiar position already described. We have no direct statement of their mutual feelings before the time of the journal; but one remarkable incident must be noticed. During his stay in England in 1703-4 Swift had some correspondence with a Dublin clergyman named Tisdall. He afterwards regarded Tisdall with a contempt which, for the present, is only half perceptible in some good-humoured raillery. Tisdall’s intimacy with “the ladies,” Stella and Mrs. Dingley, is one topic, and in the last of Swift’s letters we find that Tisdall has actually made an offer for Stella. Swift had replied in a letter (now lost), which Tisdall called unfriendly, unkind, and unaccountable. Swift meets these reproaches coolly, contemptuously, and straightforwardly. He will not affect unconsciousness of Tisdall’s meaning. Tisdall obviously takes him for a rival in Stella’s affections. Swift replies that he will tell the naked truth. The truth is that “if his fortune and humour served him to think of that state” (marriage) he would prefer Stella to any one on earth. So much, he says, he has declared to Tisdall before. He did not, however, think of his affection as an obstacle to Tisdall’s hopes. Tisdall had been too poor to marry; but the offer of a living has removed that objection; and Swift undertakes to act what he has hitherto acted, a friendly though passive part. He had thought, he declares, that the affair had gone too far to be broken off; he had always spoken of Tisdall in friendly terms; “no consideration of my own misfortune in losing so good a friend and companion as her” shall prevail upon him to oppose the match, “since it is held so necessary and convenient a thing for ladies to marry, and that time takes off from the lustre of virgins in all other eyes but mine.”
The letter must have suggested some doubts to Tisdall. Swift alleges as his only reasons for not being a rival in earnest his “humour” and the state of his fortune. The last obstacle might be removed at any moment. Swift’s prospects, though deferred, were certainly better than Tisdall’s. Unless, therefore, the humour was more insurmountable than is often the case, Swift’s coolness was remarkable or ominous. It may be that, as some have held, there was nothing behind. But another possibility undoubtedly suggests itself. Stella had received Tisdall’s suit so unfavourably that it was now suspended, and that it finally failed. Stella was corresponding with Swift. It is easy to guess that between the “unaccountable” letter and the contemptuous letter, Swift had heard something from Stella, which put him thoroughly at ease in regard to Tisdall’s attentions.
We have no further information until, seven years afterwards, we reach the Journal to Stella, and find ourselves overhearing the “little language.” The first editors scrupled at a full reproduction of what might strike an unfriendly reader as almost drivelling; and Mr. Forster reprinted for the first time the omitted parts of the still accessible letters. The little language is a continuation of Stella’s infantile prattle. Certain letters are a cipher for pet names which may be conjectured. Swift calls himself Pdfr, or Podefar, meaning, as Mr. Forster guesses, “Poor, dear Foolish Rogue.” Stella, or rather Esther Johnson, is Ppt, say “Poppet.” MD, “my dear,” means Stella, and sometimes includes Mrs. Dingley. FW means “farewell,” or “foolish wenches;” Lele is taken by Mr. Forster to mean “truly” or “lazy,” or “there, there,” or to have “other meanings not wholly discoverable.” The phrases come in generally by way of leave-taking. “So I got into bed,” he says, “to write to MD, MD, for we must always write to MD, MD, MD, awake or asleep;” and he ends, “Go to bed. Help pdfr. Rove pdfr, MD, MD. Nite darling rogues.” Here is another scrap, “I assure oo it im vely late now; but zis goes to-morrow; and I must have time to converse with own deerichar MD. Nite de deer Sollahs.” One more leave-taking may be enough. “Farewell, dearest hearts and souls, MD. Farewell, MD, MD, MD. FW, FW, FW. ME, ME. Lele, Lele, Lele, Sollahs, Lele.”
The reference to the Golden Farmer already noted is in the words, “I warrant oo don’t remember the Golden Farmer neither, Figgarkick Solly,” and I will venture to a guess at what Mr. Forster pronounces to be inexplicable.[42] May not Solly be the same as “Sollah,” generally interpreted by the editors as “sirrah;” and “Figgarkick” possibly be the same as Pilgarlick, a phrase which he elsewhere applies to Stella,[43] and which the dictionaries say means “poor, deserted creature”?
Swift says that as he writes his language he “makes up his mouth just as if he was speaking it.” It fits the affectionate caresses in which he is always indulging. Nothing, indeed, can be more charming than the playful little prattle which occasionally interrupts the gossip and the sharp utterances of hope or resentment. In the snatches of leisure, late at night or before he has got up in the morning, he delights in an imaginary chat; for a few minutes of little fondling talk help him to forget his worries, and anticipate the happiness of reunion. He caresses her letters, as he cannot touch her hand. “And now let us come and see what this saucy, dear letter of MD says. Come out, letter, come out from between the sheets; here it is underneath, and it will not come out. Come out again, I says; so there. Here it is. What says Pdf to me, pray? says it. Come and let me answer for you to your ladies. Hold up your head then like a good letter.” And so he begins a little talk, and prays that they may be never separated again for ten days, whilst he lives. Then he follows their movements in Dublin in passages which give some lively little pictures of their old habits. “And where will you go to-day? for I cannot be with you for the ladies.” [He is off sight-seeing to the Tower and Bedlam with Lady Kerry and a friend.] “It is a rainy, ugly day; I would have you send for Wales, and go to the dean’s; but do not play small games when you lose. You will be ruined by Manilio, Basto, the queen, and two small trumps in red. I confess it is a good hand against the player. But, then, there are Spadilio, Punto, the king, strong trumps against you, which with one rump more are three tricks ten ace; for suppose you play your Manilio—O, silly, how I prate and cannot get away from MD in a morning. Go, get you gone, dear naughty girls, and let me rise.” He delights again in turning to account his queer talent for making impromptu proverbs,—
Be you lords or be you earls,
You must write to naughty girls.
Or again,—
Mr. White and Mr. Red
Write to M.D. when abed:
Mr. Black and Mr. Brown
Write to M.D. when you are down:
Mr. Oak and Mr. Willow
Write to M.D. on your pillow.
And here is one more for the end of the year,—
Would you answer M.D.’s letter
On New Year’s Day you will do it better:
For when the year with M.D. ’gins
It without M.D. never ’lins.